zdenocharaasfrankensteinmonster

Boston Boo-ins Halloween Special

Halloween is that special time of year that people across the country dress up and pretend they’re someone else. Some do it because they have to. Some do it as an excuse to dress like a tramp once a year. But mostly people do it to have fun.

The Boston Bruins are no different. Everyone’s favorite feline report Patrice Purrgeron recently visited Bruins players to find out what they were dressing up as for Halloween and why. We now bring you live to Patrice.

purrgerontdgarden

After the jump, a very special Boston Boo-ins Halloween….

purrgjokerlockroom

The season can obviously be quite stressful and the Bruins management staff encourages the team dressing up and having a little fun around Halloween. The team was getting ready to go trick or treating so I tried not to take up too much of their time.

I first ran into Bruins recent hero Nathan Horton who was slipping into his costume.

“Well, I usually dress up as the same thing every Halloween,” Horton told me. “I like to pay respects to the role that made me famous!”

Horton is of course talking about his appearance in the original Super Mario Brothers game.

hortonmariobros

“Yeah so I dress up as a Goomba every year. I left videogames to pursue my hockey career and it’s been great but the memories are fun,” Horton said.

nathanhortonasagoomba

“I can’t wear it in Jersey though. Every time I do some dumb guineas try to jump on my head.”

Can’t say I’m surprised.

Next I moved onto Tim Thomas, who was suiting up for battle.

“I figured this costume was just natural,” Thomas said. “It’s super fun to yell ‘YOU SHALL NOT PASS’ at the puck as it flies towards me. And let’s be honest, not a whole lot is getting past me this season.”

timthomasasgandalfthewhite

“Plus with my new all white pads, I figured Gandalf the White was a great choice!”

It sure is Tim. Keep up the good work.

I decided to go to the training room where some of the Bruins wounded warriors were doing some light work outs.

First I saw Marc Savard, who apparently went all out with his costume.

“At first it wasn’t really a Halloween costume. I wore it around the NHL offices to scare the crap out of Gary Bettman and Colin Campbell,” Savard told me. “Yeah, figure those two idiots are so dumb they’d think it was real considering what happened to me. But it was so much fun I decided to wear the same thing for Halloween!”

marcsavardasheadlesshorseman

“I’m trying to get David Booth to get the same costume and go down to the NHL offices with me. So we’ll see.”

Savard’s costume was indeed terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Hopefully Bettman and Campbell shit their pants.

I then spotted Andrew Ference covered in bandages on the trainer’s table. He was obviously going old school with his costume.

“Mummy? What the hell are you talking about man,” said Ference, chuckling.

andewferenceasmummy

“These bandages were just to help with the injuries from last game! I’m in no shape to go out with the guys tonight!”

Oh that Ference. He’s quite the jokester.

After accidently using part of Ference’s costume as toilet paper I saw Bruins fans’ favorite funny faced German hanging out. He too was slipping into costume.

“Yeah, not quite ready to hit the ice yet but I’m not missing out on the Halloween festivities,” Sturm said. “I have to keep getting parts replaced in my legs and the boys used to joke ‘pretty soon you’ll be a robot!’,” laughed Sturm. “So I decided to just start looking like one now!”

marcosturmasarobot

As I walked away I thought about how awesome it would be to have a robot play hockey. Hmm… hopefully the Bruins can hook this up.

Next I decided to track down a man who likes to put people on the trainer’s table. The one, the only… Johnny Boychuk.

I found him chatting with a man who appeared to be much older… deformed even. He looked vaguely familiar but at first I couldn’t place his face. Boychuk noticed me walking up and turned around to greet me. He was already in full costume.

“I pride myself on big hits and fear!,” Boychuk exclaimed. “I’ve been told I haunt my victims’ dreams. So I decided to dress like Freddy!”

johnnyboychukasfreddykrueger

A highly appropriate costume for our dear Boychuk. But it was then that I recognized his friend. It was Freddy Krueger!

“I came here to ask Boychuk for advice,” Mr. Krueger said. “My act is getting old. So I came to see my hero… Johnny Boychuk. I’m dressing like him for Halloween!”

freddykreugerasjohnnyboychuk

“I’m going out with my friend Jason. He’s dressing up as his hero, Gerry Cheevers. We’re going to have a lot of fun!”

jasonascheevers
One stitch for every summer time tramp killed!

Good to know Boychuk is inspiring famous horror movie icons. We heard Tyler Ennis still can’t sleep. Suck it Buffalo.

I left Boychuk to his work and went down the hall. I spotted Chara in a chair getting his make up done and assumed he was getting prepped for another nude photo shoot. I was about to run away but then noticed the make up was green, so I ventured over.

“I figure this was an easy costume,” Chara said as I approached. “I’m big, I scare people, I like to pummel things so why not?”

The tallest man in NHL history certainly has a point. If you tell me you wouldn’t soil your pants if you met him in an alley, you’re a bigger liar than the NHL when they said headshots were a serious concern.

“After this I’m heading upstairs to hide behind Mr. Jacobs door. I’m hoping to scare him so bad that he explodes and it rains gold coins.”

Hmm… Remind me to follow Chara up there…

I heard some of the guys were still practicing so I headed down to ice level and was surprised to see a Maple Leafs player in net. Apparently Andrew Raycroft was practicing with the team. I was curious and made my way down to the bench. As “Raycroft” skated off the ice I noticed that it was not Andrew but Tuukka!

“I decided to wear my costume to practice,” Rask said. “It’s only been two games and people are calling me a bust already so I decided to dress like one. Plus I figured I’d show Toronto fans what they could’ve had. SuuKKers.”

raskcroft

That Rask just can’t resist a good prank. Well played you wonderful Finnish son of a gun.

I was told that Blake Wheeler was dressed up as well but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I found one of the Bruins PR people and asked if they had seen Wheeler. I was told that he was here earlier in the day but went home upset. Apparently he kept trying to scare people outside of the TD Garden but kept jumping out way too early. Poor Blake. Hopefully he gets extra candy.

After that it was time for the boys to head out so I said my goodbyes and wished them luck on their Halloween adventures.

purrgerontigger

Thanks Patrice for yet another fine report. This is Days of Y’Orr for Patrice Purrgeron, signing off.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

Quantcast