sathertomato

In Defense of Orr-chester

Some people are just too stupid for words. They say something and you’re left scratching your head as to how someone that stupid could still get so far in life. Whatever happened to Darwinism?

We’re a little behind on this, but a few weeks back Glen Sather, the “genius” GM of the New York Rangers, decided he would lob a little comment at the one and only Bobby Orr.

orrstainglass
Bobby Orr is a saint!

Orr’s agency represents defenseman Marc Staal, a restricted free agent. Staal was perhaps the Rangers best d-man last season, posting 8 goals and 27 points while earning a plus-11, the best among Rangers’ blueliners.

The Rangers are having trouble signing Staal as negotiations remain stagnant at this juncture. Staal is reportedly looking for $3.5-4 million a year, and Sather apparently doesn’t think he’s worth it. You may remember a similar situation with Brandon Dubinsky last season.

When asked if the two sides were close on draft weekend, Sather responded with “I wouldn’t say it’s a wide gulf, I would say it’s more like a chasm.”

Then things got interesting. In regards to dealing with Staal’s agent (Orr) Sather said something referring to agents “sometimes not getting it.”

Funny, Sather talking about someone not getting it.

So by now I’m sure you’re asking yourself “Are you guys going to be those bloggers who attack someone for a simple comment against a legend?”

You bet your ass we are.

After the jump, we break it down for Glen.

First, let us take a look at the two men as players.

One of Sather’s nicknames is apparently “Tomato Face” due to his constantly red face. Based on his tenure with the Rangers we assume this is because he is constantly shitfaced. He’s like that uncle at Christmas that drinks 10 gallons of eggnog and touches your cousin in the garage. Nobody likes him.

He eats babies.

During his nine years in the NHL as a player he played for 6 different teams. He was popular among his teammates, however, because of his habit of paying double what a restaurant bill was or paying triple the asking price whenever a teammate was selling old, used equipment despite the fact that no other teammate was bidding.

In 658 regular season NHL games, Sather scored 80 goals and 192 points. In 72 career NHL playoff games he scored just 1 goal and 6 points. Just like in the playoffs, Sather always comes through in the clutch for the Rangers!

Orr, on the other hand, is one of the greatest players in NHL history — perhaps the greatest. He revolutionized the offensive-defenseman position, showing that blueliners could contribute just as much as forwards. He could skate, he could score, he could fight and he could still play defense. He’s the reason every GM wants a “puck moving defenseman.”

Only three players in NHL history have averaged more points per game than Bobby Orr; Mario Lemieux, Wayne Gretzky and Mike Bossy. Notice all of them are forwards?

Orr played in 657 career NHL regular season games scoring 270 goals and 915 points. In the playoffs he played 74 games, netting 26 goals and 92 points. Orr still holds the record for most points in a season by a defenseman with 139, most assists in one season by a defenseman with 102 and holds the record for highest plus/minus in NHL history with a plus-124.

Orr won the Calder trophy, the Norris Trophy (8 consecutive times), the Art Ross Trophy (twice), the Hart Trophy (3 times) and the Conn Smythe Trophy (twice). Orr is the only defenseman to ever lead the NHL in scoring and was the first two time winner of the Conn Smythe Trophy.

orrtrophies
More bling than a rapper.

I guess Orr “got it” as a player.

Sather’s claim to fame is “building” the Oilers dynasty that won five Cups in seven years. Admittedly, you don’t help a team win at that pace if you’re completely talentless, but let’s explore a few factors here.

For the Cup wins in ’84, ’85, and ’87 the Oilers had Wayne Gretzky, Jari Kurri, Mark Messier, Paul Coffey, Glenn Anderson and Grant Fuhr just to name a few. In the ’88 Cup win they did not have Paul Coffey but acquired Craig Simpson (13 goals, 19 points in 19 playoff games), who was no slouch himself.

The Oilers dynasty teams were offensive juggernauts, breaking records like Bruce Boudreau breaks scales. A monkey could’ve coached this team and chances are they still would’ve won all those Cups.

gretzcup
Bananas for everyone!

This is like saying Boudreau is a good coach and ignoring all the weapons on his team. We could’ve coached the Oilers to all those Cups and we can barely spell.

Sather also tends to receive most of the credit for nabbing Kurri in the 4th round of that year’s draft. Guess the scouts didn’t contribute to that at all, huh?

Furthermore, in Sather’s day the NHL didn’t have that pesky salary cap. Player salaries weren’t quite as outrageous as they are today, but teams had no ceiling. Teams didn’t have to worry about acquiring new players and not having enough room under a cap. For the Oilers, the rich just kept getting richer. And who wouldn’t want to keep playing for the Oilers?

Oh, you know, except when Sather drove Paul Coffey away. Good move there buddy.

Sather gets credit for his offensive “innovations” but most ignore that fact that guys like Gretzky, Messier and Coffey certainly weren’t slouches once they moved away from Edmonton.

Sather’s “innovations” included putting Gretzky and Kurri on the penalty kill. Oh so, putting defensively responsible offensive dynamos on the penalty kill is a genius move? Sather basically through those guys on the ice and said “be awesome.”

beexcellentsatherkurrigretzky
Be execellent!

Remember how the Oilers played absolutely no defense at all? Sather’s “system” was only successful because he had some many future Hall of Famers. No genius required here. The Oilers simply had too many weapons to contain on offense.

One could argue Sather was smart enough to bring them together but even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut as they say. Brian Austin Green is banging Megan Fox. Brian. Austin. Green. Look at him.

green046
Go back to 90210 douche.

brian-austin-green11
Yup… this douche gets to nail Megan every night.

You think it was his talent with the ladies or rugged good lucks? Look at that douche. No redeeming qualities. He got lucky. Sather is the Brian Austin Green to the Oilers Dynasty that is Megan Fox.

satheroilersfoxgreen
Yeah, we went there.

Then this know-nothing idiot brought his vast “legacy” to the poor, poor New York Rangers. Let’s take a look at what this incredible talent evaluating, deal making, offensive genius has done in his tenure with the Rangers.

After scoring a career high 69 points during the 2006-07 season with the Sabres, Sather signed Chris Drury to a five-year deal with an annual cap hit of $7.05 million and a no movement clause! SLAM DUNK!

Drury’s stat line since? 58 points, 56 points and 32 points. Enjoy those last two years of Drury’s deal Rangers fans.

That same offseason, Sather said to himself… “Self… who else can I give way too much money too for way too many years? Scott Gomez! Of course!” And then Gomez, despite topping 70 points just once in his career, was given a seven year deal with an annual cap hit of $7,357,143. Writing this post made us feel so much better about Chiarelli.

Luckily for Sather those dirty Habs were dumb enough to take Gomez off his hands. But Sather still dished out this putrid contract.

After watching a steady decline in Wade Redden’s skills, Sather decided it would be a great idea to pick up the blue chipper. Oh sorry… a bluechipper in Sather’s mind.

When Redden became a free agent in 2008 Sather swooped in, signing the declining defenseman to a whopping six-year contract with an annual cap hit of $6.5 million despite a drop in skill so noticeable that even Helen Keller was shocked.

hellenkellergroan
She said “Redden blows goats!”

Redden has continued his steady decline and is regularly booed by the home town crowd at Madison Square Garden. Keep up the great work, Sather.

Many want to give him credit for the Gaborik signing. So… signing an injury prone, sometimes lazy (though incredibly talented and dynamic) forward to a long term contract is a great signing? The guy was basically going to go to the team that offered him the most money. Sather, in true Sather fashion, offered him the most money. How is that a slick deal on Sather’s part? Hope he carpools with Ted Kennedy. Too soon?

At various points he’s tried to bring in injury prone former superstars such as the walking concussion Eric Lindros and the man with no knees Pavel Bure. Instead of, you know, actually trying to build a team Sather would trade for or sign former stars and hope the aging vets would someone find their youth. Great strategy. Look at all those Cups the Rangers have won with Sath…. Oh. We found this on Sather’s desk in a folder “2010 summer wish list”

believe-santa-inside
We wouldn’t even be shocked if this was true.

But… even we here at Days of Y’Orr can admit Sather finally saw the error of his ways.

You may all remember a little incident in the Rangers-Capitals series in the ’09 playoffs where then Capitals enforcer Donald Brashear skated up to then Ranger Blair Betts and elbowed him in the face. It was unprovoked. Incredibly dirty. Betts suffered a fractured orbital eye socket. Betts’ teammates were rightfully enraged. If only they could get Brashear alone in a room….

Realizing after the season that his team lacked chemistry and needed a new enforcer after Colton Orr ran like hell away from this poor franchise, Sather dumped Betts and signed… Donald Brashear. The Rangers finally had Brashear alone in a room… their own locker room. Another fantastic move by the genius Sather.

“Donald is a great player and we need a guy to fill the tough role. He is a tough guy and the man we need. He certainly will be the man his teammates can go to and I have no doubts in my mind his new teammates will accept him.”

Brashear was placed on waivers in February after never quite fitting in with the Rangers. The Rangers are still on the hook for Brashear’s $1.4 million cap hit regardless of whether or not he plays for them this season because he signed his contract as a +35 player. Again, let’s give the great Glen Sather a round of applause!

Rangers fans, those poor souls, didn’t think it could get any worse. What more could Sather do to them? Well… with Brashear gone they were in need of another enforcer. There a few free agents available who could fill the role. Perhaps even a few that would settle for the veteran minimum.

While reviewing a list of free agents one drunken night in his office, Sather came across the name of Derek Boogaard. He has just 14 points in 255 career NHL games but the intimidating fighter has 544 penalty minutes and some respected pugilistic skills.

Surely Sather could get him to sign for around $800,000 a season. So Sather offers him….four years with an annual cap hit of $1.625 million. That is not a typo. Let that sink in for a second. I’ll take a bathroom break while you do.

ontheshitter
Dropping Sather off at the pool.

The same man who strong armed Brandon Dubinsky into a $1.850 deal and is trying to avoid giving Marc Staal a much deserved raised gave Boogaard $1.625 million a year. For four years. Let’s look at what other players of a similar caliber to Boogaard get paid:

George Parros cap hit: $875,000
Daniel Carcillo cap hit: $1,075,000
Eric Godard cap hit: $750,000
Former Ranger Colton Orr’s cap hit: $1,000,000

You get the point. The Days of Y’Orr staff is looking into opening a restaurant in Sather’s neighborhood. Our menu will include only the finest in expired and tasteless meats and beers. We expect to make a fortune off of Sather.

Sather still insists on going out and trying to sign the most lucrative, high priced free agents assuming his team will automatically get a Cup while completely ignoring the salary cap and team chemistry. What a great, legendary GM he is! It was the Oilers players that carried Sather. People keep ignoring that.

Glen Sather won’t give a young guy like Staal with a ton of potential a $3.5-$4 million deal, but he has no problem giving a washed up Wade Redden the deal he got? Is Sather trying to play hardball with Staal or does he simply realize he messed up the New York Rangers franchise so bad under the salary cap that he’s trying to strong arm their best defender into an under market value deal until other contracts are off the books?

Rangers fans chant “Fire Sather” every game. They’ve held a “Fire Glen Sather” rally. But no, Sather is great! What an incredibly smart hockey mind!

firesatherrally
What a moron

If you go to the store and steal a candy bar, you’re going to jail. Sather is basically stealing Rangers fans’ money. He has no idea how to manage a team under a salary cap or build a team that doesn’t contain eight superstars. Rangers fans basically go into every season knowing they’re not going to win a Cup because of this idiot. Yet he still walks the streets a free man.

And why is he still employed? Are the Rangers owned by Corky?

corkysathertororella
This should be a reality show.

The fact that they continue to employ this man despite the Everest sized mountain of evidence pointing to the fact that he is not capable of doing his job is simply baffling.

Sather’s legacy shouldn’t be that of a man that build a great dynasty but then lost touch with the game. His legacy should be that of a marginally talented GM who got lucky with the Oilers then showed his true colors with the Rangers.

But don’t worry Rangers fans. Rumor has it that Sather has reached out to the agents of Gordie Howe, Bobby Hull and the deceased Maurice Richard to see if they’d be interested in suiting up for the Rangers next season.

Meanwhile Bobby Orr is revered across the hockey world, and Glen Sather is loathed. But maybe we just don’t “get it.”

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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