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Jekyll and Hyde Bruins Come Home Even

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That was an interesting weekend. The Bruins were finally playing meaningful games. Shawn Thornton was back to being awesome. Unfortunately… the Bruins weren’t.

Game 1 looked like crap. We weren’t expecting the Bruins to go 82-0 but the effort through the first two periods of Game 1 wasn’t there. We had ‘Nam flashbacks to last season and cried inside. But then the rational side of us slapped us upside our heads and said it’s just one game. Then the third period began, Horton showed why the Bruins got him and the team tried. The defense wasn’t great. Ask Rask. No milk crate in Europe was safe. But there was promise.

Then came Game 2. Machine like. Not perfect. But these Bruins were motivated.

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After the jump, a “NESN/ESPN sponsored” recap….

When we say “sponsored” we don’t actually mean sponsored. We’re super excited hockey is back. Our girlfriends keep telling us to shut up about hockey already. But one of the most annoying things about early season hockey analysis from any network is the extremely overdone and not funny “after 2 games, so and so is projected to score 200 goals! hahahahaha!”

Since the Days of Y’Orr crew is a bit busy today, in lieu of our normal recap we’ll give you our thoughts/analysis NESN/ESPN style:

- Based on this weekend, we can quite obviously assume that Tuukka Rask and Tim Thomas will split the games 50/50, and interesting tactic from the Bruins.

- Rask is projected to go 0-41, averaging a goals against of 4.00 per game in perhaps one of the worst softmore slumps the NHL has ever seen.

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- Tim Thomas, on the other end, is projected to absolutely shatter some NHL records. He is currently on pace to go 41-0 with 41 shutouts and a goals against average of 0.00. Based on his current pace, Thomas is also projected to get 41 assists. Wow. How can you top that?!

- Unfortunately if you combine Rask and Thomas’ projections, the Bruins are projected to go 41-41-0 and likely miss the playoffs. Guess we better just give up on this season.

- Through two games Horton is averaging 1.5 goals per game and 2 points per game. Over an 82 game schedule, we can expect Horton to score 123 goals and 164 points, making Horton the first 100 goal scorer for a single season in NHL history. At $4 million a season, this is without question the biggest bargain in the history of hockey.

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- After two games, we can expect Tyler Seguin to score 41 goals this season, but 0 assists. What a puck hog. Trade him. Don’t need that kind of arrogance in the lockerroom!

- Through two games Patrice Bergeron has no points and is a minus one. He has obviously lost his defensive abilities and will not contribute to the offense, as he is projected to finish a minus 41 with no points. Even more wasted cap space dammit!

- Greg “Soupy” Campbell is expected to average 41 fights this season. Hope he has a lot of ice for his hands. That’s going to suck.

In all seriousness, making season projections based on two games is seriously dumb. And NESN crew? We enjoy your banter and commentary… but honestly, this stuff isn’t funny. At all. You do it every year. Please stop.

There was a lot to like and a lot not to like about the Bruins this weekend.

That lazy, uninspired play through the first two periods was inexcusable, especially after last season. They did respond in Game 2 with a fantastic effort. Who are the real Bruins? Likely inbetween, but much closer to the Bruins we saw in Game 2.

- Great to see Thomas look that good in his season debut. When Rask lost Game 1 everyone rightfully pointed out how he has no defensive help. However, if that was Thomas the same people would’ve cried about his contract and demand he get traded. Each goalie has only played 1 game. Grab a drink and relax on the complaining.

- The defense looked a lot better in Game 2 but there’s definitely work to do. We think they’ll be fine though.

- Love what we see out of Horton. Obviously we don’t expect him to keep up with NESN’s projections but he’s got a nose for the net, great moves and a great shot.

- Seguin is definitely learning on the job, as he hasn’t been great defensively and is still adjusting to the speed and strength of NHL players. He seems to be handling it all well though and has some great leadership on the team that should help him keep his confidence up. Plus that breakaway was pretty.

 

- Caron looked good in Game 2. No points but the hockey sense and fight were good. He’s going to be a solid NHL player we think.

- You take the good, you take the bad and there you  have… the Bruins first two games of the season. Some fans are upset and calling the Bruins bums. Some fans think the Bruins are about to go on a 81 game winning streak. Either way, we got 80 more regular season games to enjoy. Relax with the complaining and just enjoy the fact that Bruins hockey is back.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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