twoheadthomasrask

Lucic In Your Mouth. Bruins Win.

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What a game. Full of action. Intrigue. Heart ache and pain! Well, for Vokoun anyway. For 58 minutes and 36 seconds of the 60 minutes of this game, the two teams battleD. Boston clutched a one goal lead heading into the third.

Then late in the third, the Bruins decided Vokoun was being a cocky jerk. Who did he think he was saving all those shots. Thats when Milan Lucic and Shawn Thornton went to work. Oh boy.

The boys in black and gold opened the flood gates, scoring three goals in a minute and 24 seconds as the Panthers thanked their lucky stars that no one in Florida cares about hockey and probably wasn’t watching anyway.

Lucic continued his strong season, showing what a healthy Lucic can do. Horton showed he’s more than just a goal scorer, notching three assists. Thornton got fancy and played Plinko for a goal.

And Rask. That unlucky son of a gun. Rask’s record didn’t tell the story this season. His play certainly wasn’t deserving of a winless record. Then those silly Panthers came to town. From the very start Rask told them this was his turf. He let Florida know they weren’t beating him tonight. This was his time. The monkey that made it’s home on Rask’s back said his goodbyes.

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After the jump, Lucic and Horton decided they hate felines and Rask’s favorite number is zero…..

 

PRE-GAME

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1st

 

You can shit on the Panthers all you want (and we know we have) but they actually ain’t bad. Not good. But no pushovers. And they have a tendency to play their best against the Bruins. Tonight was no different. At least in the first.

Early back and forth chances as Vokoun and Rask try to prove who is the bigger pen… man. Marchand takes exception to Vokoun trying to one up his boy Rask and decides to get all up in Vokoun’s face. He goes to the box for goalie interference.

Boston’s PK unit was sponsored by Dexter tonight.

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Killed.

Neither team could crack the other goalie. But then Lucic was on the bench looking at his stats and was like “I want some goals.” Nathan Horton and Patrice Buuuuuuuuuuuurgeron were on board with his venture.

Bergeron gave the puck to Lucic as he took it into the neutral zone and did a drop pass to Horton. Horton said “yo dude I’m not selfish you get a goal” and passed it back to Looch.

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Lucic gave Vokoun the finger and buried it. 1-0 B’s. Go back to Florida bitch.

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Hoping to get his team some momentum Darcy Hordichuk said “Hey Thornton I heard you fight like a Jonas brother!”

Huuuuuuuuuuuuge mistake Darcy. Isn’t that a girl’s name anyway? Whatever. Thornton decided to introduce Marcy Darcy to his fists. Darcy was all like “stop pummeling me it’s really painful!” You see the look on Thornton’s face after that fight? Seemed extremely pleased with himself. Dealing out pain gives him great pleasure.

  

         

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If Thornton was a wild animal he’d be a Fistchuk. Darcy was heard screaming “Hey fistchuk quit chuking those fists!”

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2nd

They didn’t all happen in the second period but David Booth apparently took 14 shots. Sweet Jebus. Must’ve got that from his great uncle John Wilkes. Unlike David his great uncle only needed one shot.

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What a jerk.

Seriously…. what is it about this Bruins-Panthers games. Two of them ended 1-0 last year. Both teams got their fair share of chances in the second but Rask and Vokoun were acting like they’re goalies or something.

Patrice Purrgeron has always been a big Vokoun fan because Vokoun apparently likes to be on teams that have cats for logos.

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3rdThird period was tense. Once again the team in front of Rask wasn’t putting up much offense. Vokoun was shutting the door just as much as Rask. It was like an air hockey game when your friend is cheating and “accidently” using his arm to block the goal. No one is scoring and you just want to punch your friend in the face for being a douche.

But then the Bruins began to felt bad. They looked at Rask’s nervous, sad face and they just couldn’t bear it! Rask was giving one hell of a performance and they had to reward the Raskally Rabbit.

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The Bruins decided to go to a minute and 24 second offense. They decided if football teams go into a two minute offense, they could beat that because hockey is the greatest sport on Earth.

Horton and Lucic went to work. Again. What chemistry. Horton puts the puck on Lucic’s stick. Lucic says “Hey Horton… Thornton…. you ain’t the only snipers on this team mo fo’s!” Vokoun didn’t even look like he saw Lucic’s bomb. 2-0.

Surely the Bruins were going to go into lock down mode. Preserve that 2-0 lead and grab the victory. What Florida didn’t know is that before the game Lucic lost his favorite hat and decided he wanted to go hat shopping. But there was a game going on, so Lucic did what he had to do.

Bergeron and Horton attacked the net but couldn’t get it by Vokoun. Then Lucic popped up and told Vokoun to suck it. 3-0. It’s raining hats. Hallelujah it’s raining hats.


   

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After Lucic was done picking out which hat he liked best the Bruins went back to work. Rask began to get excited. Maybe, finally, he would get a much deserved first win. Florida had almost no motivation left. They likely knew it was over. But as usual, Shawn Thornton stepped up again. Scoring has become so pedestrian to him that he got creative and shot the puck at a defender’s skate and the puck was soon in the back of the net. 4-0 Bruins as Vokoun vomited all over himself.

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Four minutes later the game was mercifully over for the Panthers and Thornton and Lucic ganster leaned their way off the ice. Lucic took all his pucks and his new hat and started showing them off. You the man Looch.

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Then the real fun began. Not only did Rask get his first win… he also got a shutout. Boston’s fifth on the season.

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After the game Rask celebrated like it was his first win of the season… oh wait. 

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Hey Bruins, thanks for giving Rask his first win. Poor guy certainly earned it. Hopefully he can get on a roll. Imagine what will happen if Rask AND Thomas are rolling at the same time. Teams might as well not even show up.

LA comes to town Saturday. Huge challenge. We think the B’s are up for it. Bring it Kings. Go Bruins!

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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