Sturmy and his Troopers head west

Marco Sturm traded to LA KingsWe’ve been waiting since June to use this picture… it really is just gross.

Editor’s note: The same sources that said this was a done deal are now saying it’s on hold (at best) or dead (at worse). Someone must’ve told LA Sturm had two knee surgeries. Here’s our original post. More on what the hell is going on when someone finally knows.

We know this is basically old news since it broke in the early afternoon by but we have day jobs and already had this cinematic masterpiece lined up in the queue right at the time when everyone started freaking out over the Sturm trade.

The deal is pretty simple: Kings get Marco “Sturmface” Sturm. Bruins get a conditional pick and, more importantly, dodge any more cap issues for the time being. This all pending Sturm can get he knees passed the TSA agents and into California to pass his physical. This is a mere formality — minus the TSA frisk-down.

It’s a good move by the Chiarelli. Sturm is over-the-hill in terms of hockey age and two blown knees in the last two years doesn’t make him a very promising player. When your main asset is speed and you have two knee surgeries, things aren’t looking up.

The big mystery is how they got Sturm to waive his No Trade Clause.

It’s quite possible the Bruins informed Sturm in recent days that he might be assigned to Providence (AHL). Such type of speculation has a way of, shall we say, convincing players to waive their ”No Trade” clauses.–KPD,

That would probably do it.

Michael Ryder and Blake Wheeler can now sigh in relief since the Bruins are under the cap ceiling. They can also start having dinner with Shawn Thornton again. We’d be surprised if any more moves came out of this.

Some people think the Bruins could’ve gotten more for Sturm – like a prospect defenseman or a third-round pick. Those people are idiots. Don’t listen to them.

Sturm was the last piece of the Joe Thornton trade. Umm… yea. Go… us?

Sturm will be remembered, not just for his bad knees, but because of this:

We send you off, Sturmy, the only way we know how… with a song from the Village People.

Best of luck in LA, Sturm.


About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit