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The “Real” Mount Puckmore

If you’re a hockey fan, chances are you’ve heard of Yahoo’s hockey blog Puck Daddy, run by Greg Wyshynski.

(As a side note, as soon as Kovalchuk signs a new deal or goes to the KHL and Puck Daddy reports it, be sure to ask Greg if it’s a “slow news day” as many of his readers/commentators love to do)

Puck Daddy started this feature called “Mount Puckmore.” Basically they have bloggers/writers from each NHL city pick the four players they feel best represent the franchise.

So far they’ve posted ones for the Buffalo Sabres, Columbus Bluejackets, Ottawa Senators, Carolina Hurricanes, Chicago Blackhawks, Calgary Flames, Washington Capital, Tampa Bay Lightning, Anaheim Ducks and Colorado Avalanche.

Your very own Jack Edwards even did one for the Bruins.

We’ve enjoyed this feature, but had one problem with it. Only people who actually know a lot about the teams contributed. What about your average fan from across the nation? The Days of Y’Orr crew hit the streets to find out.

After the jump, we find out who average fans in some NHL cities would choose….

We decided to do this Family Feud style. We asked 100 fans from each city and got their responses, and chose a select few to present to you today.

First up, the offensive-heavy Washington Capitals.

One of the “fans” we asked was a woman wearing a pink bedazzled Ovechkin jersey. We asked her to tell us who she thought were the four most important players in Caps history.

“Well, our history isn’t very old,” she told us. “I mean, we didn’t even have a team until 2005, right? So I would have to say the most important player is Ovechkin. I know there’s some Swedish guy on the team, too, and someone with a dirty-sounding last name, but I don’t know what they are.”

We proceeded to show her clips of Lemieux and the Penguins dominating the Caps in the playoffs throughout the 90s. She then screamed something about “Inception” and ran away screaming. Weird.

The final results from our poll:

53% said Alex Ovechkin, 23% said Ovie, 17% said A.O. and 7% said that dude with the nail in his head from Happy Gilmore.

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This seems about right

Next up we traveled to Phoenix to ask Coyotes fans. Coyotes fans have had it rough in recent years with the constant fear of their team moving to Canada or being bought by some crazy ass billionaire addicted to blackberries. Personally, we think they taste gross, but whatever.

The Coyotes are coming off a great season, seeing them take the Detroit Red Wings to seven games and getting valuable experience in the process. Fans are excited. Well, they were before realizing the team couldn’t sign most of their free agents.

We found some old guy on a Rascal motoring down the street and decided to ask him who his favorite Coyote was.

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Phoenix is where careers go to die. Ask Brett Hull.

“I love that Wile E. Coyote! F***ing Road Runner always screwing with him,” he said as he raised a fist to the sky and began vigorously shaking it. “Hope he’s back next year and is healthy!” Baffling.

We decided to call the Coyotes’ offices and ask if they had any ideas.

“We actually tried to make a real one,” said a team representative. “But as soon as we completed Shane Doan’s face we realized we didn’t have enough money and the bank foreclosed the rest of the mountain.” Things keep getting sadder in Phoenix.

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This joke is so old it could vote.

We decided to stay in places that never actually see real ice in the winter and head to Anaheim. We went to poll another 100 fans here and oddly enough the first guy we ran into was that dude from Phoenix on his Rascal. Guess those things are speedy. So we figured what the hell, we’ll ask him who his favorite Ducks player is.

“Darkwing Duck!!! Love that bill faced, crime fighting, son of a gun! Keeps these streets safe!” A valid argument.

When you’re in trouble you call DW.

After we parted ways with the senile fool, we walked the streets looking for more fans. We saw some creepy looking dude peering through the window of a house and decided to see what was up. He was taking pictures of some girl in the shower. We were disturbed, but he was wearing a Ducks hat and looked familiar so we asked him. We felt as though we had seen him before on some horrible rumor website that is never correct.

“I would say there’s a great chance coach Gordon Bombay makes the cut. Best coach in team history. Much better than Mike Babcock. And that’s an (e4!),” the douche said. Haunting.

Final tally: 50% said Adam Banks, 40% said Charlie Conway, 8% voted for Coach Bombay, 1% voted for Dark Wing Duck and 1% voted for German Dark Wing Duck.

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No Goldberg?

 

We kept California dreaming and took a bigger boat to San Jose.

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Patrice Purr-geron fears no shark!

There were piles of Nabokov jerseys in the trash. We asked if there was some sort of Communist thing going on and we were quickly banned from Twitter. Whoops. People are too sensitive.

We stumbled upon San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson throwing out a half eating slice of pizza. “We have trouble finishing things here is San Jose,” Wilson told us. So we asked him who he thought was the player that meant the most to the Sharks organization.

“Has to be Jaws. That shark just never quit and he had the killer instinct we lack. But much like my team in the playoffs he was blown up at the end. Sad. But we admire his spirit. We need more players like Jaws,” Wilson said with a tear in his eye.

Wilson’s sentiments were shared by a surprising number of a fan base with a Jaws like hunger for success. Poor lil guys. What’s that? You say our team blew a 3-0 lead in the playoffs? Yeah, well… umm… suck it. There. Got you. Moving on.

Finally tally: 67% voted for Jaws, 15% voted for Brody, 13% voted for “that dude that gets eaten near the end” and 5% voted for that “scientist guy that hid under water. What a nerd!”

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This post was derailed as we decided to watch Jaws

In the interest of fairness we decided that once we got back to Boston we’d ask the fans at home! We were disappointed but not surprised by the results.

We made the critical mistake of going to Southie, where we heard some Boston natives doing their best Departed awful Boston accent imitation. We asked the least greasy one of the group.

“I love Mikey Rydaaaah,” the guy, wearing a “Yankees Suck” shirt, said. “He had that cool caaaaah and leathah jacket!” It was at this point we figured out he was talking about Knight Rider. And no one talks like that anyway. Idiot.

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Michael Ryder isn’t nearly this cool.

We didn’t want to be bias with our own fan base so we chose 50 women and 50 men. We were disappointed, but not surprised, to find out that 45 out of the 50 women said Lucic.

We love Lucic. But all the pink hats only know Looch cause he hits and fights and has boyish good looks. Apparently busted noses are a huge turn on to Boston women. Who knew.

“I love Milan! His name is a city! How romantic!,” said some girl who couldn’t even spell his last name. This is hockey; not Chippendale’s. Just because a hockey player is cute doesn’t mean he’s the best player everz!

Lucic was also a popular choices amongst males who loved fisticuffs but complained that Lucic didn’t listen when they yelled “Start a fight!!!” while the Bruins were on the power play.

The next round of responses was a bit surprising… fans weren’t picking players they thought were the best the franchise ever had to offer but rather the few names they had heard on ESPN whenever Lebron James and Tiger Woods weren’t banging Brett Favre live outside Favre’s farmhouse.

We saw a couple of fans already wearing custom Tyler Seguin jerseys. That poor kid doesn’t stand a chance if he doesn’t put up like 230 points this season.

“Tyler Seguin would have to be my choice,” said some clueless dude. “Look at how he dominated training camp! And I saw him on TV at the draft so he must be a big deal! I went right out and bought season tickets!” A theme amongst many “new fans.” Best of luck, Tyler.

Finally Boston tally: Lucic 62%, The Bear 24%, Seguin with 13% and one dude who simply yelled “TRADE THOMAS!” Probably one of the people who was saying Chiarelli would be stupid not to sign him long term last season. Oh well.

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About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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