Wow the Islanders Suck. Bruins Win.


If you’re an Islanders fan, we don’t understand how you can go pay to see this team. This isn’t the usually harassment we give a team. The Bruins didn’t necessarily play a good game. Not bad either. But the Islanders looked like they weren’t even trying for like 90% of the game. Three Islanders players would surround one Bruins player… and then just kind of look at him and not do anything.

We knew the Islanders were bad, but we hadn’t really watched any of their games this season. But come on. I guess it all stems down from the top. When your management doesn’t really seem to care and you play in the worst arena in the league, maybe you just don’t feel like playing. But we can definitely understand why Islanders fans are so pissed. If you know an Islanders fan, give them a hug. Seriously. And maybe a pizza. Or a puppy. But definitely a hug.

This is not a photoshop. Jebus.

Is this what they have to do to get fans to go to games? Damn.

After the jump… special teams thrive, DiPietro shouldn’t roam, and Lucic loves empty nets……




– Some dude named Tuukka Rask is in net. No idea who that is. Sounds vaguely familiar.


– Rookie Dman Stevie Kampfer getting the start tonight. Classy move by Julien. Plus he’s starting with Campbell, Marchand and Thornton. Good company to be in rook! 


– About two seconds into his first shift Kampfer throws a hit. You really know how to butter up the Boston crowd buddy.

– Bruins get a great chance early as Horton gets the puck all alone in front of the Islanders net but he completely misses. Oh man… they can’t miss as many open nets as last game, right? RIGHT?!


– Matt Moulson mentioned he was hungry so Boychuk tried to help him by making him eat ice.

– Islanders don’t even look like they care. We want a refund.

– Bruins buzzing all over the Islanders zone. Marchand sees the world’s greatest sniper Shawn Thornton alone in the slot and threads a pass. Thornton unleashes a mighty shot but Ricky DiPietro makes a huge save. Without hurting his knee. Impressive.


– Kampfer nails another dude in the Bruins zone and then the Bruins take the puck up ice but a Ryder pass doesn’t hit it’s target. Kind of a theme for the Bruins lately.

– Wheeler pulls a Horton. He was all alone in front of the net and just missed off a perfect set up. This game should be about 8-0 right now if the Bruins could hit open nets.

– Zenon Konopka gets pissed at Adam McQuaid for hitting him. I guess you’re not supposed to hit in hockey anymore. A brawl ensues.



– Lucic now has the puck in front…. and you know what happens? Miss. NHL11 announcers would tell the Bruins they’re gripping their sticks just a little too tight.

– The Horton goes to the box on a weak tripping call. PK time.


– Bruins PK is doing what it does best and produces a shorthanded scoring chance. Ex-Penguin Mark Eaton takes a holding call after getting distracted thinking about how he went from the Penguins to the Islanders. Bruins go on abbreviated powerplay.

– Boychuk and Savard work the wall. Savard passes to Horton, who shoots but DiPietro makes a great save somehow. Seidenberg gets the rebound but DiPietro is there again. Oh man.

– DiPietro then cancels out all his good will by tossing the puck over the boards. That is delay of game Ricky boy. Nice one. Bruins get a short 5 on 3.


– Chara winds up and takes a slapshot that hits Radek Martinek in the gullet. Puck went it so deep Martinek got pregnant. He was down on the ice for awhile.

– Off the following faceoff Lucic gets the puck and fires on net. Puck banks in off DiPietro’s skate and in. 1-0. Lucic is awesome. Savard gets his first assist of the season on the powerplay.

– With that Savard finally has a point. Took long enough. Only one point this season? Geez.

– That was a joke. Just so we’re clear. 

– Bruins come right back and Horton again misses the net off a good opportunity. Horton is definitely trying too hard. Seidenberg hits the post two seconds later. Brutal luck tonight guys.

– Chara thinks he’s a forward and tries to sneak a few in on Dipietro, but no dice.

– With ten seconds left things get a little tense behind the Bruins net when Parenteau boards Boychuk. Boychuk gets up ’cause he’s invincible. Chara then punched a dude in the face and said don’t F with my teammates assface. Period ends.





– Bruins start period with leftover powerplay from that fool trying to kill Boychuk. Savard hits Horton with a nice pass but Horton tips it juuuuuuuuuuust wide. Horton has 14 theoretical goals tonight. He’d make an excellent Stormtrooper because Horton can’t hit anything with a shot tonight.


– Islanders go back the other way and get a great chance but Tuukka Rask makes a great stick save. He’s looked a bit rusty so far but he’s getting in a zone.

– Jack Hillen wants to get in on the tripping party and puts the Bruins back on the powerplay. Yeah, don’t get excited.

– A horrible, lazy pass by Chara results in a semi-breakaway by Frans Nielsen. Bergeron stops him but the referees cry foul. Penalty shot time. Nielsen proceeds to take Rask to school. Damn. Nice shot. 1-1.

– Bruins get a few good chances to finish the powerplay but DiPietro isn’t letting the weight of his terrible 15 year contract hold him down.

– Islanders break into the Bruins zone and get an odd man rush but Kampfer decides to keep making a good impression in his debut. Apparently he wants to be good. 

– Trevor Gillies starts getting cheap with the Bruins after a whistle. Thornton comes onto the ice for the next faceoff. Yeah we all know whats coming now. Thornton calmly tries to explain that Gillies is being a huge jerk.


– A graphic on the Jumbotron says Gregory Campbell led the Panthers in hits last season. Campbell then high fives everyone on the bench because he doesn’t play in Florida anymore.


– Kampfer comes through again and hits Lucic with a sweet outlet pass but Lucic can’t bury it. Back at the other end the Bruins blow their defensive assignments but Rask makes a sprawling save. Should’ve been a goal. Rask straight up robbed the dude. Bruins end up on the PK.

– Rask is forced to make several fantastic saves in a row before the puck is cleared.


– Marchand turns his jets on and races after the puck as it enters the Islanders zone. DiPietro leaves his net and races towards the puck as well. He tries to clear but Marchand taps the puck away and gains control. DiPietro is still out at the blueline going over health insurance options. Marchand scores his third shorthanded goal of the season. 2-1.

– Bruins kill the penalty and then Horton and Krejci try to hook up in front of DiPietro but he makes another tough save. Lil Rick is doing his best to convince people he’s good but we’re not buying it.

– Back in the Bruins zone Boychuk kills Jesse Joensuu Spano. 


– Kampfer shows off again when he stops an Islanders odd man rush. Kid’s got wheels. Damn.

– Seguin steals the puck when an Islanders player blows a tire but passes back to nobody and the period ends soon after.


– Not much going on to start the third. TD Garden was so quiet that when some dude yelled “Hey Rick DiPietro you really suck!” it could be heard throughout the entire arena. No way DiPietro didn’t hear that. His feelings then went on the injured reserve list.

– Rest of the Bruins could learn a thing or two from Kampfer. His passes are crisp.

– Bruins getting some good chances but looks like they’re taking pity on the ex-Gordon’s Fishermen.


– Islanders break up ice after a missed Bruins chance but Seguin is there to break up the opportunity. He’s a fast dude. 

– Refs feel bad for the Islanders and send Shawn Thornton to the box because he’s an animal.


– Krejci gets a great shorthanded chance but DiPietro is there again. See what happens when you stay in your crease Ricky?

– Joensuu gets frisky with Rask while trying to jam a puck home and continues to whack after the whistle. Chara walked over and gently asked him to stop. By almost breaking him in half.


– Chara was fiesty tonight. Wish we saw that more often this season.

– Islanders are obviously frustrated. Rask hugs the post as the Islanders try to poke the puck in. Ref eventually blows the whistle and a small scrum ensues. Tavares tries to stop McQuaid. No idea what he was thinking. Probably was just hoping McQuaid would turn around and punch him into the future when the Islanders don’t suck.

– Boychuk was just killing people tonight. It wasn’t even fair. Any time an Islanders player even breathed on him he was tossing them to the ice. At one point the referrees demanded Boychuk be tied down for the safety of the other players.


– After an exchange in the Islanders zone, Tavares almost gets his wish of not playing for the Islanders anymore when Chara drills him with a slapshot and Tavares hits the ice. Chara’s kill count was insane tonight.

– Nielsen gets called for a penalty when play resumes and the Bruins go on another powerplay.

– Bruins missed so many chances tonight. Official score at this point was 2-1 but the unofficial score was 104-1.

– Bruins buzzing everywhere but nothing happening and Islanders clear. Or try to. Bergeron gets a nice poke in the the neutral zone and Chara takes the puck. Chara passes to Ference who passes right to Ryder. Ryder deflects the puck passed DiPietro and makes it look easy. Powerplay goal. 3-1 Bruins.

– Soon after the Islanders decided they want to attempt to make this a game. Islanders take a shot off the faceoff and Schremp gets the puck next to Rask. Chara can’t get to the open man and Schremp scores. 3-2.

This is weird….

– With over a minute left the Islanders pull DiPietro. Huge mistake. Lucic sends the puck down from his own zone. 4-2 Bruins. Lucic’s fourth empty netter of the year.

– Islanders decide to pull DiPietro again. Why? Bergeron eventually scores in the empty net. 5-2. Islanders go home with another loss as fans all across Long Island purchase head sized paper bags in bulk.

– Glad to see Rask get another win. The team didn’t abandon him this time, which likely prevented a meltdown.


– Flyers loom Saturday. First visit to TD Garden since the game that shall not be named. Oh boy.




About Trashboy Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.