Brad Marchand in ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’

By now you’ve probably heard by Patches made a crack about Brad Marchand’s large nose:

Our official response:

That was a good one 
Seriously. Whatever. He made a joke about Brado’s nose. Big whoop. If this is Montreal’s answer to Ference 3:16, they’re in trouble.

Other Brado’s Nose Jokes:
* Brado’s nose has lasted longer on the ice with Chara than Pacioretty.
* Brado nose helped him sniff out that first Bruins goal last night. (Ok… not a joke; it’s a fact)
* Brado’s nose is probably bigger than your (boyfriend’s) dick; definitely bigger than Montreal’s.
* Brado didn’t need a prosthetic when casted to play Cyrano de Bergerac.

In fact, these nose jokes are 100x better. Thanks, Cyrano:

  1. Obvious:  Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
  2. Meteorological:  Everybody take cover. She’s going to blow.
  3. Fashionable:  You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like … Wyoming.
  4. Personal:  Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
  5. Punctual:  Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
  6. Envious:  Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
  7. Naughty:  Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away.
  8. Philosophical:   You know. It’s not the size of a nose thats important. It’s what’s in it that matters.
  9. Humorous:  Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle.
  10. Commercial:  Hi, I’m Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
  11. Polite:  Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
  12. Melodic:  Everybody! “He’s got the whole world in his nose.”
  13. Sympathetic:  Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
  14. Complememtary:  You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
  15. Scientific:  Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
  16. Obscure:  Oh, I’d hate to see the grindstone.
  17. Inquiry:  When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
  18. French:  Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
  19. Pornographic:  Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
  20. Religious:  The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn’t He.
  21. Disgusting:  Say, who mows your nose hair.
  22. Paranoid:  Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
  23. Aromatic:  It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee … in Brazil.
  24. Appreciative:  Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
  25. Dirty:  Your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?

Recap later today. 

(Tweet image from PuckDaddy) 


About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit