By now you’ve probably heard by Patches made a crack about Brad Marchand’s large nose:
Our official response:
Seriously. Whatever. He made a joke about Brado’s nose. Big whoop. If this is Montreal’s answer to Ference 3:16, they’re in trouble.
Other Brado’s Nose Jokes:
* Brado’s nose has lasted longer on the ice with Chara than Pacioretty.
* Brado nose helped him sniff out that first Bruins goal last night. (Ok… not a joke; it’s a fact)
* Brado’s nose is probably bigger than your (boyfriend’s) dick; definitely bigger than Montreal’s.
* Brado didn’t need a prosthetic when casted to play Cyrano de Bergerac.
In fact, these nose jokes are 100x better. Thanks, Cyrano:
- Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
- Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She’s going to blow.
- Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like … Wyoming.
- Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
- Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
- Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
- Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away.
- Philosophical: You know. It’s not the size of a nose thats important. It’s what’s in it that matters.
- Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle.
- Commercial: Hi, I’m Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
- Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
- Melodic: Everybody! “He’s got the whole world in his nose.”
- Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
- Complememtary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
- Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
- Obscure: Oh, I’d hate to see the grindstone.
- Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
- French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
- Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
- Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn’t He.
- Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.
- Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
- Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee … in Brazil.
- Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
- Dirty: Your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?
Recap later today.
(Tweet image from PuckDaddy)