Bruins, Shaq agree to one-year deal; claimed off waivers by Isles


Big news broke this morning for Boston Bruins and New York Islanders fans.

Boston Celtics and NBA star Shaquille O’Neal signed a one-year deal with the Boston Bruins last night. The deal is reported to be an estimate of $600,000, plus incentives.

Shaq was not pleased by the Islanders’s claim.

“This is bullshit,” said Shaq in a phone interview. “I’m not going to report. I’m not reporting. I had my heart set in Boston. I already play in Boston for the Celtics. Why would I want to play for a joke organization like the Islanders? Plus, that commute would suck.”

Islander’s GM “Party On” Garth Snow said he’s excited to add another high caliber player to an already saturated roster.

“We’re very excited to have Shaq on our squad,” Snow said. “He’s a big man. He’s got a large frame. He can cover a lot of the net. He also has several championship rings, so he knows what it’s like to play under pressure.”

When asked about the chances of the Islanders making it to the post-season this year, Snow replied with a “Go fuck yourself.”

The latest Islanders waiver claim means New York has set the record for most goalies on an NHL roster… ever. However, only one of their four goalies is even able to start. New York also has whatever’s left of Rick DiPietro’s body and some no-name in Kevin Poulin. They also recently picked up FA Evgeni Nabokov from waivers after he signed a one-year deal with the Detroit Red Wings. He, too, is refusing to report to the Islanders.


“We’re hoping there’ll be some friendly competition between all our netminders,” Snow said. “We’ve already ordered Shaq an XXXXL and super-tall jersey for the Big Shamrock. In fact, I’ve officially placed Travis Harmonic on waivers, so Shaq can continue to wear #36. Harmonic has been a waste of a roster space anyways.”

Shaq was seen at the Boston Garden this morning, but failed to answer reporter’s questions.


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Phone calls to Shaq’s agent this morning on whether or not Shaq really will refuse to report to New York have gone unanswered.

Justin

About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit www.JMAucoin.com.

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