Chicago Blackhawks Insults 101


You may remember a certain Shawn “Wayne” Thornton take a skate to the face that required 40 stitches. As he skated by the bench some jerkoff taunted Thornton (knowing full well he’d be out for the rest of the game and not have to see him for another year — bigman stuff). If it wasn’t for the ref standing in his way we’re pretty sure there would’ve been a lot more than just Thornton with stitches and blood dripping form their heads.

After the game, Thornton refused to quote was said to him:

“Someone said, obviously I can’t swear while I’m talking to you guys, but there was some stuff said that I’m not too happy about,” Thornton said. “If I ever find out who it was I’ll deal with it in my own way.”

But that doesn’t mean the referee who saved the Chicago bench can’t speak.

Via ESPN Chicago:

“I heard someone say, ‘Get off the ice, get off the [expletive] ice,’” VanMassenhoven said. “I don’t know who said it.”

Really? “Get off the fucking ice” is the best Chicago has to offer? Or, as Kalman put it, not even a “yo momma” joke?

Lame. Who knew that John Scott was their best trashtalker… and he kinda sucks at it, too.

We can’t say that we’re surprised. The entire Blackhawks season has been a letdown; why not their insults?

Apparently, the Blackhawks have a list hanging up in the locker room of potential insults to throw at their opponents. And thanks to ace reporter and secret agent Patrice Purrgeron, we were able to get our hands on a copy of said list.

Other insults the Chicago Blackhawks use:
“Your skate blades are dull!”
“Well, I’ll see you in my dreams… if I eat too much!”
“I bet you use… a wooden stick!”
“Haha… your name is Mike Komisarek! Wait… it’s not?” 
“We bought the Stanley Cup last year! *stick out tongue*”
“Your mother wears army boots!”
“Who cuts your hair? Barry Melrose?!”
“Your fight strap is showing!”
“Hey, what are you? A rookie?”
“You’re really, really, really bad at hockey… and other stuff, too!”

What are some other insults you think the Blackhawks could use in the future? They’ll probably need a new list for 2011-2012.
 

Justin

About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit www.JMAucoin.com.

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