There is something that has weighed heavily on the hearts of the entire Days of Y’Orr staff.
After a December Sabres-Bruins game, we went on Twitter and message boards and saw all the Sabres fans whining and crying… even though the Sabres won. We were baffled. So for our recap, we didn’t even cover the game and just made fun of Buffalo. Ryan Miller. Lindy Ruff. Patrick Kaleta. The city itself. No one was safe. It was too easy. Sabres fans began sending us hate mail.
One guy even told us that if we ever step foot in the city of Buffalo that we are “fucking dead! DEAD!” Not sure if he’s aware those kind of threats are illegal, but we’re cool guys so we let it go.
Then Buffalo fans started bitching about how Chara sucked for starting stuff with Miller after the game. Then Justin wrote an ironic post, breaking down the after game scrum frame by frame to show it was actually Miller that started with Chara. The Buffalo fans didn’t see the irony and called us whiners. Then we called them inbred idiots. We even got into a Twitter battle with some 40 year old dude who wouldn’t stop typing “LOL” and talking like a teenage girl. Then we called him a pedophile. Patrice Purrgeron felt so awful he made a card for Buffalo.
That was mean of us Buffalo. We feel like we really screwed up a chance at a good relationship with the city and the Sabres. So today we would like to make amends and offer an olive branch in hopes our friendship can be salvaged.
After the jump, Days of Y’Orr apologizes for all the things we’ve said and discusses how awesome the Sabres are….
We’re sorry that… Brett Hull is so super duper awesome and scored that awesome goal that year the Stars beat the Sabres in the Stanley Cup Finals. We’re also sorry that not a single Sabre decided to cover one of the greatest goal scorers of all time and let him dominate in the crease.
We’re sorry that Brett Hull is the greatest sports hero in the history of Buffalo sports despite never playing for the Sabres.
We’re sorry you still can’t get over this.
We’re sorry that Ryan Miller let Sidney Crosby school him on almost the exact same move he used when Crosby beat Miller at the Winter Classic a few years back.
On the bright side, Buffalo is basically an offshoot of Canada anyway so you guys should technically be really happy that Miller blew it in the Gold Medal game.
I guess you could say Miller’s pads on that play were… wide right.
We’re sorry the only silver the city has ever seen is Miller’s medal. I mean, even the Lightning and Hurricanes have won a Stanley Cup. We’re sorry you guys never have.
We’re sorry your football team wants to move to Toronto because the fans are better up there.
We’re sorry the city’s claim to fame is Buffalo wings. We’re sorry you’re most known for one of the foods that most contributes to America’s obesity problem.
We’re sorry you broke Hasek’s back when he single handedly carried you for years and the rest of the team was terrible. Congrats, you broke a legend. Maybe he should’ve played quarterback for the Bills. Jim Kelly didn’t fair much better.
We’re sorry that players at the World Junior Classics hated going to your boring, terrible city and couldn’t wait to get the hell out. Seems like almost everyone thinks Buffalo sucks.
We’re sorry that your women are so gross and unattractive. At least that is what we’ve heard from several athletes.
We’re sorry your head coach Lindy Ruff spends more time crying than actually winning championships. We’re sorry he does not know basic hockey rules and screams at the refs even when the Sabres have quite obviously committed a penalty.
We’re sorry your fans are total idiots: “A girl with a ‘I Love Buffalo Sabres’ t-shirt once tried to tell me that Derek Roy was one of the greatest goaltenders in NHL History.” From reader Alex C. Wow.
We’re sorry your fans also are either blind or have severe brain damage: “I went one of the Bruins vs Sabres playoff games last year and the people in front of us tried telling us Kaleta is a good a player and does nothing wrong!!! HAHA I responded if that is true then you can call me GOD!!” From reader Bruce C.
We’re sorry Kaleta sucks so much. We’re sorry he is one of the league’s biggest pansies. We’re sorry he was ever born.
We’re sorry the Bills sign guys like this. So dumb.
We’re sorry that neither the NBA or MLB think you are good enough to have your own team.
We’re sorry the city hasn’t won anything at all in over 40 years.
We’re sorry that the only times the words “Buffalo” and “miracle” are used in the same sentence is when people recall that Titans touchdown late in the fourth quarter in the 2000 playoffs or when people say “It is a miracle I didn’t catch any STD’s in Buffalo.”
We’re sorry the Bills never could win the Lombardi Trophy. Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas sucked. Also, more proof of Dallas’ owning Buffalo.
In fact, Buffalo’s nickname — The Queen City — is proof to why they’ll never be the best.
We’re sorry your city’s nickname is The Queen City. This one writes itself.
We’re sorry Buffalo gets snow from Sept through May. Bummer.
We’re sorry the greatest athlete in your city’s history is best known for murdering his wife and not what he did on the field.
We’re sorry you have Montador, but, to be fair, we took Paille. If you play the Hurricanes in the playoffs just know that when Montador and Eric Staal are on opposite teams, they have fantastic offensive chemistry.
We’re sorry Kaleta is your resident “tough guy.” Seriously. Says a lot about the rest of your team.
We’re sorry that even when that idiot Kaleta tries to take runs at players, he still fails.
We’re sorry Matt Ellis still can’t remember his name after running into Boychuk.
The list goes on and on. Basically, we’re just sorry that the Sabres and the city of Buffalo suck. Can you ever forgive us Buffalo? Friends forever?!!!?!?
Hey Patrice Purrgeron, any final words for our dear friends in Buffalo before we go?