Grindin’ Gears – Vancouver Still Sucks Edition

grindin gearsGod, it’s good to be back everyone. For all the noobies out there, Grindin’ Gears is a weekley segment where I get to rant and rave about the goings on in the NHL, more specifically the Boston Bruins. Well, I did my last one when the Bruins won the Stanley Cup and decided to hang the skates up in the offseason to enjoy some sun, fun, Stanley Cup happenings and jersey projects. Well guess what, I’m back. Now, it’s not a weekly thing yet. That will happen once the season kicks off in full force, but I couldn’t let this slide.

Over the weekend, Puck Daddy posted a gem. Apparently Vancouver believes that the NHL is to blame for their riot

“In spite of four Stanley Cup riots in the last five years, [the NHL] has no approach, no policy and no apparent strategy to work with host franchises and municipalities on this issue,” says the lengthy internal report to be debated at a special council meeting on Tuesday.

“[This] clearly … threatens the value and perception of their brand.”

Oh dear Jesus, where do I begin? First of all, whoever was involved in this special council meeting must be special themselves. Did they arrive to the building in a small yellow school bus and oversized Bauer, double padded Marc Savard style helmets? Who oversaw this fucking meeting anyway? Kermit the Frog?

Whoever decided upon this meeting and then again decided on this topic needs to be kicked in the dick with a spiked shoe. Vancouver saying that the NHL is responsible for their own riot is like murdering someone and then saying it’s their fault for getting stabbed in the face. It makes no fucking sense. Even the Macho Man would have a better grasp on this subject and he drove his car into a fucking tree while having a steroid induced heart attack from slamming Slim Jim’s down his old piehole.

After the jump, Vancouver is a disaster. I wish a hurricane would wip them off of the Earth…

If anything, Vancouver should blame themselves for being so fucking stupid. I may still be under Lord Stanley’s spell, but I don’t remember Gary Bettman standing on a burning car poudning his chest like a minature version of King Kong. I didn’t see Colin Campbell throwing a trash can through GAP’s wonderfully designed store window in order to steal some $65 dollar pair of skinny jeans.

Maybe that’s because Colin was to busy fixing these games…right Tony Gallagher? You fucking schmuck.

Maybe Vancouver should look towards the city that won the Stanley Cup as a blueprint of how to handle a crowd. After riots when the Patriots, Red Sox and Celtics won their respective championships, Boston cracked down when it came to the Bruins. They blocked streets off from one another. They limited the amount of people in bars.

They didn’t allow people to congrugate in one massive area.

charamonster
Re-read that for a moment. People were verbally bashing Mumbles Menino because he didn’t allow Bruins fans to celebrate together in Boston Common or Government Center…and with good reason. People in Boston love their booze…fact no opinion. So if you allow all these boozed up fucks time to get all riled up, drink their faces off and then lose a hockey game…there’s going to be an issue. Mumbles had the foresight to not let this happen. Vancouver?

Oh shit, let’s get 150,000 people in one place and watch their team virtually implode on the ice. If the #1 seed in the West, with the best record in the NHL and the winner of the President’s Trophy, loses at home in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup, it shouldn’t matter to these people. They have basketball…I mean baseball…I mean football…I mean fishing(?) to fall back on! yeah, fishing! If they lose the Stanley Cup, they have fishing! Right? Because that what everyone wants after a devastating loss; Fucking Charlie Moore and his stupid face.

God, I hate Charlie Moore. WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE SOME ROCK STAR, YOU’RE A FUCKING FISHERMAN. STOP PLAYING AIR GUITAR ON YOUR BOAT AND SNAG THE CAMERA MAN WITH YOUR LURER WHEN YOU’RE CASTING!

Maybe Vancouver should blame the real reason why they lost the Stanley Cup:

luongo
It’s all about accountability and guess what? Vancouver doesn’t have any. None of these suited pricks can look themselves in the mirror and take blame that they didn’t properly plan for this. They bring up riots in the past [Edmonton (2006), Montreal (2008) and Montreal (2010)] but they don’t learn from these other cities. In fact, look at that trend. All Canadian cities and Montreal wasn’t even in the fucking Stanley Cup Finals. They just riot because they’re excited their shitty fucking franchise can win a round. God, I hate Canadien fans. They’re the worst type of fan. Worse than the Canucks rioters, worse than Tampa’s old people, worse than Anaheim upscale douches. They’re the epitome of a shitty fanbase.

So yeah, Vancouver…grow a set of balls. There was a riot because your Mayor and City Council members are comprised of a round table full of retarded monkeys. I’m sure they’ll get another chance to show that you learned from this mistake when the BC Lions and their 4 fans are celebrating losing a Grey Cup. ZOMG CFL REFERENCE.

Good night losers!

Vaginault

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