Lucic Owns You. Bruins Win.


What a game. Lightning gave the Bruins everything they had. Boston showed Tampa Bay they ain’t quite ready for the big time yet. Bruins now in sole posession of second place in the conference and more importantly finish the season series against the Lightning 3-1, winning a key tie breaker should they end up with the same amount of points at the end of the season. 

This game had a little bit of everything. Good action. Good goaltending. Tampa Bay cheapshots. Lucic making Eric Brewer pay for Tampa Bay’s cheapshots. Lucic being a beast everywhere on the ice. Bergeron sending Stamkos flying. Boychuk being wanted for murder.


This game had let down written all over it before it started. Bruins aren’t great at home this season. They were coming off a six game road trip and facing a good Lightning team. But the Bruins stepped up. They refused to leave the ice without a victory. They hit 30 posts. They didn’t stop coming. They scratched and clawed their way to victory. Exactly the type of win you need to learn how to get once the playoffs roll around. 

Win streak hit seven.


We’re going streaking.


After the jump…. Lucic is awesome, Thomas is awesome, Boychuk is awesome and Tampa Bay sucks…..

firstperiod
- It feels good to be watching live hockey again. This is a playoff game in our minds. B’s and Lightning fighting it out near the top of the conference with Filthy. Time to Go Bruins!

- Tampa Bay is one of those teams we have trouble hating. Stamkos is awesome too. We should start a fued with him. Somebody tell him we did a free for all frenzy with his mom. And his sister. If he has one.

- We don’t see a Bruins home game in weeks and you reward us by NOT having Rene?! Come on Bruins!

- Horton with a good chance early to embarass Mike Smith but he misses wide. Mike Smith is still awful.

- Thomas almost gets caught out of the net but it is no big deal he’s Tim F’ing Thomas.

- We are confused. Mike Smith just made an awesome save on Patrice Bergeron. No idea he had that in him. Good job Mikey. But now you must pay!

- Bruins getting some good chances but those Tampa Bay jerks are blocking shots and passes. Not cool guys, not cool.

- Victor Hedman is super ugly. Just saying. Just saying.


- Marchand, Bergeron and Recchi toying with the Lightning but Smith makes another great glove save. Who is this guy? He’s not the real Mike Smith.

Nice pic by Brittany

- Thomas just ROBBED the Lightning. Great save. Then Lucic cross checked some dude. Penalty kill time. 


- Scramble in front of the B’s net as Thomas is down but they keep it out. Phew. F you Tampa Bay.

- Oh shit. Tampa beats Thomas but then we heard the glorious sound of rubber hitting metal. Nearly crapped ourselves.

- Penalty killed. Close but no Cuban cigars.

- Adam Hall takes a penalty somewhere. We missed it. We were making fun of your mom.

- Bruins with some great set ups on the powerplay but Smith makes a nice pad save on a Chara blast. Smith can’t keep this up all night. He’s terrible.

- Horton with an open net but he misses wide. Target practice Horton! Target practice!

- Horton trying to fight Dominic Moore after a Moore cheap shot but he’s having none of it. Moore heads to the bench and Horton follows him talking smack. Moore is a wuss. Fight Nathan “One Punch Knockout” Horton!


- Nooooooooooo. Bruins beat Smith but we see the terrible terrible sight of puck hitting post. B’s almost buried a couple of chances. Mike Smith is breaking!

- Yes, we realize we praised the post earlier. Jerks.

- Teams exchanging chances but not a whole lot going on. 

- Defensive breakdown springs St. Louis but Boychuk takes care of him. Shut down bitch.

- Lucic hits post. Damn you posts! For too long you’ve been a thorn in our sides!

- Bruins almost score 80 times. Pure luck that the score isn’t 70-0 right now.

- Lucic KILLS Tyrell, apparently still upset he hit a post. Period ends 0-0.

Intermission
Dominic Moore sucks.


secondperiod
- Yeah second period. Hopefully the posts are kinder to the Bruins and still mean to the Lightning this period.

- Mike Smith is the kind of guy that gives you hope. No matter how terrible you are, you can still achieve your dreams! Shoot for the stars everybody!

- Slow second period so far. Lots of dump and chase. We no likely.

- Annnnnnnnd as we say that Eric Brewer scores. We were just trashing him too. Ouch. 1-0 Lightning.

- Bergeron, Marchand, Recchi line getting chances left and right but just can’t get anything in. That kind of night so far

- Bruins getting some offensive zone time. Chris Kelly just sent Adam Hall packing in the corner. Puck eventually gets to Kampfer…. slap shot…. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL. Kampfer rules. 1-1. Great response from the B’s. Kelly and Peverley with assists too. Sweet.

Pic sent in from reader Brittany! Thanks Brittany!

- Campbell gets sent into Smith and the net is dislodged. Campbell sitting on the ice and Steve Downie comes over and starts pulling on him. What a wussy. You suck at life Downie.

- Kubina and Thornton having words between the refs. Thornton politely takes his gloves off and challenges Kubina. Kubina is a coward and won’t find. Wow Tampa. Thanks for giving us a few reasons to hate you. It is on you bitches.


- Downie tries to challenge Thornton once the refs are holding Thornton back. Great job coward. Go drink bleach.

- Downie and Thornton get misconducts. Booooooooooooooo. You still suck, Kubina.


- Hells yeah. St. Louis trips Recchi into the Lightning post and everyone wants a piece of everyone. Recchi telling that Stamkos kid to show some class. Someone on the Lightning is going to get their ass kicked tonight.

- Wow. Kampfer just got his shit ruined. Held his head for a moment on the ice. Things getting fiesty. Then Ohlund pushed Krejci down from behind. Refs should just let the Bruins crush the Lightning now and get it out of the way.

- Tampa Bay is where old people go to die. Boston is where the Lightning players come to die.

- Tampa Bay must have policy…. if you can’t beat ‘em, make a bunch of cheap shots to the skill guys that don’t fight anyway!


- Lucic finally had enough and sent Moore to the ground. Then Brewer made the mistake of challenging Lucic and Lucic RUINED him. Brewer kept trying to turtle and Lucic wouldn’t let him. Fucking awesome. You suck, Tampa Bay. You suck so hard. You have first round knock out written all over you.



 - All the cheap shots Tampa dishes out and Horton gets an extra penalty? Bull shit. Someone go buy Tampa a case of Summer’s Eve for their vaginas.


- Lucic got an extra roughing penalty for nailing Moore. 5 on 3. You suck Tampa Bay. Soooooooooooo hard.

- Looch and Downie verbally sparring in the penalty box. Someone is gonna end Downie before the night is over.

- Horton gets sprung on a breakaway but can’t beat Smith. Nutsacks. Still hoping Downie gets crushed into the ice.

- Little breakdown but Thomas gives B’s a bailout. He’s the man.

- Jones gets hit in the face. Good. Tampa deserves it. Tampa being cheap bitches tonight. 

- Seidenberg goes into the box for it. Penalty kill.

- Thomas covers the puck and Moore keeps hacking away. Then McQuaid teaches that little bitch a lesson. Needless to say, cowardly Moore didn’t get up to try to defend himself.

Another sweet pic from Brittany

- Period ends 1-1 as Tampa goes to check their diapers.

Intermission
Brittany alerted us to a new album the Bruins are putting out.


Image from Lisa

thirdperiod- We missed the first five minutes of the third. We went to get a drink and overheard some Tampa Bay fan bashing Shawn Thornton. We then made him sit there for five minutes while we explained how awesome Thornton is and how much Tampa Bay sucks and smells like old people and diapers.
- Mike Smith with another great glove save. He’s never this good. Total fluke.


- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYCHUK! What a hit. Just CRUSHED Nate Thompson into the boards.





- Thompson stayed down for a few seconds, thanking Jesus he was still alive. What a fool.

- Kaberle takes the puck in the neutral zone and charges in on Smith. F’ing posts man. Cling cling cling. Nice moves though Kaberle.

- Brewer going to the box. Two minutes: being a wussy turtle. Hopefully B’s can deliver on this powerplay.

- Few mistakes at the blueline costing B’s with the man advantage. Oh well.

- Campbell and Marchand make a Gagne sandwich. It tastes like pansy.

- Boychuk loses his helmet and doesn’t even care because he’s a warrior.

- Boychuk with another kill! Sweet Jesus. Racking them out. Oh Boychuk, we missed you.


- HAHAHAHAHAHA wow Tampa Bay you suck. Scramble in front of the Lightning net after Lucic dominates everyone. Puck goes towards the net. Lightning think Smith has it and they’re all laying down in the crease to stop shots. But Smith doesn’t have it. Puck goes to the Loochness monster and it is goal city bitches. 2-1 Bruins. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!




- Kampfer didn’t come back after that earlier hit. No good.

- Minute and a half left. Stomp the life out of these bitches Bruins.

- Bergeron just leveled Stamkos. Couldn’t be more awesome. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERG!

- Bruins clear with 20 seconds left. Tampa pressing.

- GAME OVER. Go F yourself Tampa.  

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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