Power(play) outage. Habs Force Game 7



This game was terrible in so many different ways. The refs set new lows. The Bruins powerplay set new lows. The Bruins were a better five on five team but there wasn’t much five on five play. No idea how their powerplay coach still has a job, evening dating back to the regular season.

This game needs to already be behind you. And behind the Bruins. Hard to say considering how tough the loss was. But Game 7 is less than 24 hours away. It comes down to this again. The Bruins season has ended in Game 7’s a lot in the past few seasons. We don’t need to tell you that. Going to be an intense scene at the TD Garden Wednesday night.

Might want to call in sick for Thursday now. You’re either going to be up until the early hours high fiving your friends and harassing Habs fans or drinking heavily and avoiding anything that has to do with Canada. Even though Canada hates Montreal.

Look the Habs won. Doesn’t mean they’re not cowardly diving bitches. What a disgrace to the game of hockey. But hey, the Bruins didn’t do enough in this game to get by that. Doesn’t matter how good or bad the refs are when the Bruins look like they couldn’t score on a powerplay even if Roberto Luongo was in net.

After the jump…. Dive, dive, everywhere a dive, shitty powerplays and Purrgeron interviews a Montreal legend……

firstperiod
- Both teams feeling each other out like two teens at the prom but no one is getting to second base yet.

- There is a riot in Montreal. Ref just blew the whistle early because he thought Thomas had it. Thomas didn’t and the Habs put it in the net. But the whistle blew first. So Montreal cried and cried and cried…. but the funny thing is there was a penalty on Bergeron in the other end that led to Montreal’s rush that the refs didn’t call. So suck it Montreal, we’re even. Go cry more though.


- Habs fans cheer a trip. How ironic.

- Ryder with a sweet steal from Gionta. Don’t listen to Mike Giardi. Gionta blows more than a five dollar hooker on half off Fridays.


- Refs ignore a high stick on Peverley. Going to be one of those nights.

- Montreal crowd crying a lot already. Thousands and thousands of people collectively being whiny pansies.

- Jeff Israel, web producer for MyFoxBoston.com, was on TV after the game and he brought a sign with him….



- Eller gets hit and pretends he’s dead. He even looks down expecting to see a bullet hole. Get up you coward.

- Habs pressing and Thomas is forced to hold the post. Good early chances for the Cowards. B’s gotta be sharp.

- Blah. Too Many Men on the ice call on the Bruins. Big early penalty kill.

- Right off the faceoff Seidenberg slashes Cammalleri’s stick. 5 on 3 for Montreal. Shit.

- Boychuk gets a piece of the puck but can’t clear. B’s looking confident but Habs are everywhere. Longest 30 seconds ever so far.

- Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Cammalleri scores. Terrible penalties to take. 1-0 Montreal. And Montreal is still on the powerplay.


- B’s kill but the damage is done. Time to get that goal back B’s.

- Habs players taking shots at Marchand. That just means Marchand is doing this job. Marchand is better than you.

- Thomas looking a tad bit shaky so far. B’s are playing a good period though despite being down by a goal. Habs still suck.

- Stores in Montreal must make a killing off of tissues and tampons from the male Montreal fans alone.

- Montreal claims to know more about the game of hockey than any other city but the way they boo at every play or supposed penalty really makes you think they have no basic understanding of any hockey rules.

- Gomez yelling at the ref. Apparently even Gomez is pissed at how overpaid he is and wants the ref to know. Ref should give Gomez a two minute minor for being terrible.


- Hooking call on the Habs. Bruins powerplay time.

- Well…. 14 seconds and Price takes one of the all time epic dives. Terrible, terrible dive by Price but refs believe it.


- Montreal players are a disgrace to the game of hockey. Period over. Habs retreat to lockerroom to practice diving.

Intermission
We now bring you to the Days of Y’Orr studios for a special intermission report!

Montreal. The city has many nicknames.

The City of Douches. Divesville. That Shitty City That the Rest of Canada Hates Because It Sucks So Much.

There is an elitist attitude amongst Montreal fans. They live in the past, constantly bringing up the history of guys like Howie Morenz, guys that 99% of their current fan base is too young to even remember.

They look at us fans in the states and say we don’t respect the game. They say fans outside of Montreal embrace the violent side of the game while they value what is important. They call us “yanks” like it is insulting but it is not 1880 so we don’t care.

This is ironic for many reasons. Montreal players dive more than Greg Louganis. They whine and cry to the refs after every whistle. Hardly a good way to respect the game. What would a certain Montreal legend think about current fans and the current make up of the team? Days of Y’Orr GM and expert report sent out to get to the bottom of it. 

Patrice Purrgeron managed to locate the most infamous name in Canadiens history and he granted Purrgeron an exclusive one on one interview. 

The interview was eye opening. Regardless of your team affiliation, you have to admit the man was a legend. Tough, vicious, always willing to fight… virtures the current Canadiens would pay to have.

Purrgeron interviewed…. Maurice Richard.


We’ll bring you Part Two during the second intermission!

secondperiod
- Two seconds in an Habs fans haven’t whined yet. A new record!

- Four on four to start and… holy shit Seidenberg just scored a wrap around goal! Came out of nowhere! Holy crap. Time game. Suck it Montreal!!!!!!!! 1-1.


- We love you Jack Edwards, but never try to do a German accent again please.

- Both teams exchanging chances now. B’s energized by that goal. Keep it up boys!

- Krejci creates a turnover… but then gives it right back. He’s having a rough series. B’s could really use him.

- Scary couple seconds in front of Thomas but we’re still tied.

- Apparently you’re not allowed to touch Canadiens players. Lucic nails Spacek with a good hit but gets sent to the box. Wait no… they’re tossing him. What fucking bullshit. Habs must bribe the NHL big time to get all these dumbass calls. You wonder why the B’s haven’t been as physical as they should be? This is why. Touch a Hab, get a penalty.



- 5 minute major penalty here. Such bullshit. And now Bergeron is going for a delay of game. 5 on 3 again. First valid call refs have made all game though. B’s hurting themselves.

- Seidenberg nails Gionta. Gionta stays down a lil bit to try to draw another call because the Canadiens are pansies but the refs aren’t buying it for once.

- Doesn’t matter anyway. Gionta scores on the 5 on 3. 2-1 Cowards. Still a ton of time left on Lucic’s bullshit penalty too.


- Thomas with a big big save to keep this a one goal game. Bruins still got a minute left to kill.

- B’s just almost deflected the puck past Thomas. Too close. 14 seconds left on Lucic’s penalty….. B’s kill it.

- Delayed penatly on Roman Hamrlik for being one of the worst first overall picks in NHL history.

- Bruins powerplay is literally painful to watch sometimes. PP expires. B’s still have not scored a powerplay goal so far in the playoffs.

- Spacek back on the bench after his terrible, terrible injury. Rumor is he went to see Hall Pass in ther lockerroom.

- Bruins back on the powerplay. You should probably go do something else for the next two minutes.


- Chara just hit Moen as the police rushed down to the ice to arrest the brute! Powerplay expires.

- Marchand almost scores but then the refs callling a hooking penaly on the Habs. Powerplay again for the Bruins.

- Chara gives up the puck and the Habs get a shorthanded opportunity. Then Horton gets a breakaway but they call him for a slash. Awful call again. Oh well.

- Gomez runs Thomas and there is no call. Worst officiated game in a long, long time. Gomez’s plan did not work however, as Thomas keeps making huge saves.

- Sarah Connors repping the Bruins up in Montreal. She was brave enough to bring a sign….


- Chara shoots and it goes under price but Marchand can’t bury it as Gill abuses Krejci.

- Period over. Powerplay is mud. 2-1 Habs.

Intermission

And now…. Part Two of Patrice Purrgeron’s interview with Maurice Richard….

That is what you get for screwing with Purrgeron man.

thirdperiod
- Here we go. Third period. Gut check time. You know, assuming the refs let these two teams play for a little bit.

- Man juiiiiiiiiiiiicy rebound but Bergeron can’t bury it. Such a good chance. Bruins with a lot of good early pressure but can’t light the lamp.

- Bruins have the Canadiens pinned in their own zone. Bruins want this. If they keep this up good things will happen.

- Now Bruins getting sloppy. Couple of rough turnovers in their own zone. B’s looking hestiant to hit. Wonder why.

- Not sure if Price was laying down because he thought he had the puck or if he was trying to buy another call.


- Bruins need to just keep firing pucks. Price is having trouble controlling rebounds.

- Jack making fun of that tranny Lady Gaga. She’s about as talented as Hal Gill.

- If the Bruins could just find a way to finish they could take this game.

- You know why Montreal sucks? Because they think hockey is soccer. Amongst 100,000,000,000 other reasons.

- No idea why the Bruins keep trying to stick handle through three Canadiens players. Not going to work.

- We hate Mike Richards but we have to agree with him. Subban is probably the most cowardly player in the league and we can’t wait for the day someone catches him with a HUGE open ice hit.

- Horton and Boychuk with some great chances but Bruins still down by one with time ticking away. They’re just saving the tying goal for later to be more dramatic.

- Paille wreaking havoc all of a sudden. B’s pressing late. Cooooooooooooooooome on!

- Mara just tried to shove Paille into Price. What a fool. Bruins are everywhere but can’t bury anything. Still three minutes left….


- Annnnnnnd Moen just bought a call. Refs ignoring a bunch of other stuff up until that point. Guess Subban crossing checking dudes in the face is legal though. That is what kind of game it has been. Gotta get a shorty here.


- Soooooooooooo close. Krejci gets a good chance and the Bruins were jamming but couldn’t get it through. Great, great chance.

- As bad as the refs have been… the Bruins powerplay has been equally atrocious. No idea how their powerplay coach is still employed. 

- Thomas to the bench with less than a minute to play….. and bad passing ends it. We’re going to Game 7. See you tomorrow.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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