The secret life of Mr. Cowhead


We know we’re feeding the beast with this post, and if you’ve seen Mr. Cowhead you’d know he’s got quite the appetite to fill, but once in a while a tool so big comes along we just can’t help yourself.

Mr. Cowhead is that guy.

Mr. Cowhead (Tampa’s wannabe Howard Stern) came back from vacation recently to learn about the Bruins Hockey Rules ads chopbusting Tampa Bay Lightning fans. Got pissed which is understandable. We’d probably be irked, too, but that’s the point. It’s chopbusting. It’s trashtalking. It’s good ol’ hockey fun. Too bad Mr. Cowhead’s skin is as thin as his ass is fat.

You can listen to this verbal diarrhea here should you be that bored. Warning: it’s painful, especially when his listeners try stringing more than three words together. We’re assuming they were trying to read off a script. Who knows. Here’s everything in a nutshell:

On air he talked about how after Game 1 the Bruins bought a billboard to make fun of the Lightning fans, which is hilarious since the billboards were up before Game 1 and since the billboards are on the Boston Garden’s property, we’re pretty sure they didn’t have to buy it.

From there he rounded up his troops, better known as the Cow Klux Klan (yep), to call the Boston Bruins to bitch, moan, complain and drop as filthy of languages as they can possibly think of to the Bruins marketing staff. This really just further proves everyone in Tampa is old since no one but the elderly bitch about such trivial things in life.

This reaks a lot of what that Habs radio guy did that caused the Montreal 911 debacle up in Canada. This might be more petty. In fact, pretty sure it is. Originality isn’t Cowhead’s strong suit either.

All this we would’ve written off as “well played, sir” but then he had to go a bit further and started calling one of the Bruins marketing assistants a “fag,” “Faggy Jason” and “faggoty gay assistant” all while claiming he has “nothing against being gay.” Sure, buddy. Guy’s got a huge Napoleaon Complex going on if he thinks only homosexual men can be a women’s assistant. Way to perpetuate the inbred racist, homophobic douchebag stereotype.

Long story short, the Boston Bruins took down the signs. Sometimes when the baby is crying it’s little eyes out long enough you just gotta give in to make the tears stop flowing. Score one for Mr. Cowhead.

After all this we shot Cowhead a chopbusting remark. To his credit he was still up even though it was way passed his bedtime. 

 
Nope. This is how we handle things.

More after the jump…

 
We decided to do some digging into Mr. Cowhead’s life. Anyone that gets that easily riled up over some chopbusting and drops the word fag to describe a poor marketing kid probably has some dirt to hide.

We weren’t wrong.

We found some interesting pictures of Mr. Cowhead when he think he’s in private. 



To quote George Takei: Ooooh myyy!

We weren’t surprised when we found these photos. Only “a fag” would nickname himself after the female version of the cow species. But no wonder why he’s hating on the gay community on his show. Guy’s angry he can’t be the man his father wished he was. Sad that he can’t just accept himself for who he is. If only he’d leave that dirty, inbred city of Tampa and come up to Boston he could finally marry Tyrone and be accepted. Oh well…

We also found a picture of some early modeling Mr. Cowhead did.


And a photo from his recent vacation.


Guess he was visiting family.

He also said he would send Boston big ol’ “case of AIDS” (the variety pack we hope). How is he going to do this so easily? Well, because of the South’s inability to figure out how to use a condom he probably contracted AIDS himself. All he has to do and get some syringes and he’s a walking AIDS factory.


At least he’s trying to make sure the kids know a hug won’t give them AIDS. A tainted syringe straight in the blood or a dick in the ass, however, is a different story.

Of course, Mr. Cowhead isn’t the only Tampa fan crying over all this. More on a different post later. But should you really, really be pissed by Cowhead’s homophobic slurs (not his thin skin), there are a few things you can do.

1) Give him some of his own medicine and bitch to the station’s brass. Extra sweet irony points if you do it Cowhead style and call the marketing folks first. “Hit them in the wallet” as he called it.

Keith Lawless
Vice President & Market MAnager
Keith.lawless@coxmg.com (727) 579 2024
Jason Meder
General Sales Manager
jason.meder@coxmg.com (727) 579-2038
Mike Oliviero
Director of Promotional Operations
mikeo@coxmg.com ( (727) 579-2235

2) Report him to the FCC.
 
We’re waiting to hear back from the radio station’s official stance on Mr. Cowhead’s use of homophobic slurs on public airwaves. The calling in and getting Boston to take down the signs is actually a funny move, albiet a douche one; it would’ve been better and more fun if they just tried giving it back to Boston with their own signs like some Flyers fans did. Instead they had to go cry to mommy about it.

But the homophobic slurrs is just lame. 

Justin

About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit www.JMAucoin.com.

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