Why Vancouver is Dumb: Volume 2


So you know how sometimes you’re sitting there and you’re saying to yourself “there is no way Vancouver could possibly get any dumber?” Well, you’d be wrong. Just like we were wrong. Vancouver is making Montreal (the city, the fans, the organization, etc) look so much better. We’re actually starting to hate Vancouver in the same way that we hate Montreal.

Yesterday we started discussing why Vancouver is so very dumb. Today, we present you with several more cases on why Vancouver just might be the dumbest city in the world and why their players just might be more cowardly and stupid than Montreal.

CASE #1

As you know, a few Vancouver newspapers have taken some interest in Days of Y’Orr during the Finals. Apparently some fans were really upset about our Sedins-Garden Gnomes Hockey Rules poster because apparently the citizens of Vancouver are largely made up of whiny little babies. Enough people were upset that the Vancouver Province even did a page three story on the poster.


So what is dumb about the Canucks fans response? So many, many things. Come along with us as we review,  okay?

The most dumb thing a Canuck fan said while being interviewed about this was the quote in the sidebar. If you can’t read it, it says:

“We have our green guys, they can have their gnomes. Ours are better. We have original stuff.” ~ some idiot.

Read that quote a couple of times. Let it sink in. The green men are better than gnome jokes because they are “original.” Really now?

Listen, we know Vancouver is behind the times.  After all, they still think Roberto Luongo’s Jheri Curl, greasy ass hair style is new and hip. But the green men are far from original. There’s this little show called Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia that Vancouver’s green men stole the idea from. And hundreds and hundreds of fans across the NHL dressed up in green spandex to imitate this before these two fools did it in Vancouver. They are far from original. Just because you get TV shows ten years after everyone else doesn’t mean it is original. 

After the jump…. we present several more cases to you fine readers…..

CASE #2

While we’re talking about these Vancouver green men, we couldn’t possibly be more disappointed in them. Not only is their gimmick lame, over done and over rated, they are not even funny.

Take, for example, what they tried to do while the Bruins were up in Vancouver. If they had done any sort of research at all they would’ve realized what they were doing wouldn’t land with Bruins fans.


Putting Ben Affleck in a Canucks jersey? And trying to use it to taught Chris Kelly? You two are complete and total idiots.

First, Chris Kelly was born in Toronto. Since Canada gets everything ten years later, he probably hasn’t even seen any Ben Affleck movies and hopefully he never does because they suck.

Second, we HATE Ben Affleck in Boston. Seriously. We wish he would move to Vancouver and there would be an entire country between us and Ben Affleck. He is a horrible, awful, terrible actor and a pox on humanity. One of the green men also appear to have a little chub while holding up the Affleck thing. At least you two are doing a great job or representing how stupid your city is. Great job dudes!

CASE #3

It is not just Canucks fans that are absolutely moronic. The organization itself, through their official site and Twitter, are acting like moronic bandwagon fans. They keep posting stupid ass articles like this implying Boston is dangerous and that packs of wild Bostonians are roaming the streets waiting to pound on Vancouver Canucks fans.

On top of that, the Canucks are making it sound like no fans from opposing fan bases have ever, ever gone to Boston to take in a game. Apparently Canucks fans are like a reverse Lewis and Clark, exploring the previously unexplored Boston in the east, inhabited by violent cavemen! Check out this ridiculous Tweet the official Canucks Twitter sent out, and then deleted (captured by our pal Ty Anderson):


Brave? Why are Canucks fans brave? Here’s some info you idiots up in Vancouver. Opposing fan bases are constantly traveling to watch their team. This isn’t anything new. Vancouver fans are not brave. Tampa fans came here. Philly fans came here. Montreal fans came here, etc. Are they brave? No, they’re just fans watching their team. This isn’t anything new Vancouver.

The Days of Y’Orr crew stood outside the TD Garden for three hours prior to puck drop Monday night, making fun of Canucks fans as they walked by, you know giving them good natured jabs. Not once, not for a moment, was any Canucks fans physically threatened or endangered by any other Bruins fan the entire time we were out there. In fact the vast majority of Canucks fans absolutely loved us and admitted we were hilarious.

Stop portraying your city as rebels or some brave souls busting into Boston. Even all six Tampa Bay fans came to the TD Garden. You’re not brave. You’re not cool. You’re not doing anything new. You’re just acting like complete morons and the entire Canucks organization should feel an incredible amount of shame for their ridiculous stories and Tweets. If Montreal fans are fine in Boston, Vancouver fans are you morons.

Have there ever been incidents in Boston with opposing fans? Of course. But the same can be said for every single NHL city. While you’re doing your best to make up stories about Boston to make your lame ass fans seem braver, what do you have to say about the story that came out about Canucks fans throwing stuff at Lucic’s grandparents?

A Vancouver reporter asked Lucic about the way Boston fans treat out-of-towners, saying that Vancouver natives had phoned his station saying they were verbally abused, among other things, by Bostonians after Game 3.

“It’s funny they say that,” a suddenly fired-up Lucic began, “because I remember after Game 1, people in Vancouver throwing popcorn and peanuts at my grandparents. That’s almost as low as it gets as that goes. They’re my grandparents. They’re in their sixties. If their is anyone you should show respect to, it’s them.”

Oh boo hoo. You were verbally abused? And I suppose Canucks fans said nothing to Bruins fans in Vancouver? Why don’t you go down to Tampa Bay and hang out with the rest of the cry babies.

 

CASE #4

The Vancouver media is trying to turn the Finals into a USA vs Canada thing. Awesome.

Tim Thomas is the only American born player that has played for the Bruins in the Finals. Kampfer is the only other American on the team and he’s watching from the press box.

In Vancouver, their captain and alternate captains are not from Canada. The Sedins aren’t even from North America. As soon as the season is over they probably get the hell out of Canada as soon as possible. 

Vancouver is trying to present themselves as “Canada’s Team” but here’s something you should know Vancouver…. the rest of Canada hates you. When we were hanging outside TD Garden before Game Three with our anti-Vancouver signs, so so so so many people wearing Montreal and Toronto jerseys/shirts came up to us and said things like “Look, we hate the Bruins but we hope they beat Vancouver, Vancouver sucks.” Even Vancouver fans came up to us and said the stories from the organization and the media were lame. Even real Canucks fans hate what you’re doing. Canada hates you Vancouver. How the hell can you be Canada’s team if no one outside of your province even likes you? A lot of the people in your province don’t even like you. Give it up.

And these are just a few more reasons why Vancouver is so very dumb.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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