“You can keep your trophy” BRUINS WIN!

bruins sabres
Before I get all up in this recap’s ass like I just took it out to Sonic on a hot date, for those wondering where the title of the recap came from: 

If that’s not the mating call for the losers, I don’t know what is. You would rather have your “class” than a Stanley Cup? Guess class went out the window a few tweets later:

So now all he’s left with is nothing. If you would rather have “class” than a Stanley Cup Championship and a banner hanging in your home arena than you’re a bigger fool then your background makes you look like. Also, can we stop using the term class? Class is so subjective that the term is utterly meaningless now. You may carry yourself with what you perceive as “class” when someone thinks that you’re a total asshole, so who is correct in this situation? Class, classy and classless should be stricken from the English language.  

Speaking of stricken, does Jhonas Enroth still flinch when things come flying past him? That shot by Johnny Boychuk should be illegal. Last time I saw something get hit that hard, it was Whitney Houston’s crack pipe. Too soon? No? 

Any who, the Bruins played a pretty good game last night. I’ll be honest, when Pomenville put that shot past Thomas, I thought we were about to witness “Leaky Faucet” Timmy and the Sabres were going to score NHL 12-style horseshit goals. I was pleasantly wrong. Although Thomas hasn’t been at his best lately, last night he was good. Not great. Not wonderful, but good and that’s all that the team needs sometimes. Decent goal tending – when the offense is going and the defense is playing well – can win games. It’s time to give Timmy a breather though, it’s Turco Time bitches. 

Johnny Boychuk was the man last night. I’ll get more into it, but here’s an artist’s rendition of Boychuk’s game last night:

I’m pretty sure that’s accurate.

So lets get into this recap shall we?

 David Krejci. Oh David Krejci, you’re so thuggericious that Biggie Smalls rose again and jumped inside your body. You both actually sound the same too. One sounds like he’s rapping with a muffin in his mouth (thank you T&R) and the other sounds like he’s talking with marbles in his mouth. No one can understand what either of you say, but damn, you’re so fly. Krejci did it all last night. He scored his 18th of the season last night on a nifty feed from Lucic. Earlier in the game, Krejci was in his own zone by the boards and Derek Roy thought he was going to be a bad ass. Nope. Krejci put him on his ass. Victim #3. 

DESTORYCHUK. (Warning: This next positive will be so brotastic, you’ll think I impregnated it). Johnny Boychuk is the fucking man. Why yes I did bitch about his contract, but if he can play like this throughout the duration of said contract, I’ll eart so much crow pie that I’ll be shitting feathers for a month. Last night Boychuk was on point. He scored the game winner on a slapshot that broke the sound barrier. The reason Enroth didn’t save that puck was because his ears were bleeding. That puck had eyes too. After a Caron pass was blocked by a Buffalo defender, Boychuk blasted the loosey like it was making fun of his mother and it darted past through 4 Sabres into the back of the net. Sick. As. Fuck. 

Boychuk also had a hit on Vanek that was textbook. Unfortunately, I can’t find it anywhere on the Internet. NHL.com does have a “hit” of Boychuk on Vanek, but it’s not the right one. Bruins.com had it!

The hit Boychuk laid on Vanek was a beautiful open ice check to the chest that took Vanek off of his feet and onto his ass. It’s like he never saw it coming. I’m surprised that people from Buffalo weren’t calling for Boychuk’s head, but then again I wouldn’t want to make him angry either. 

The Destorychuk hath spoken.

Jordan Caron. Kid had anopther point last night with an assist. He’s on a roll, we should probably call him butter. Good to see him contributing, even if his point came because someone blocked his pass. I’ll take it.

Kaleta Being Kaleta. What a pussy. Went after Marchand after the referee stepped in, but would dance with McQuaid. I wouldn’t dance with McQuaid either though, unless Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” came on. 

toughruffTim Thomas. Look, Timmy wasn’t at his best, but he was good enough to win. Yes, the Pomenville goal should have been stopped but Cam Ward let in one just like that the night before to Pomenville. Dude has a rocket, there’s no denying that. With that said, Thomas stopped 19 of 20 shots last night and had his best save percentage in awhile. The dude needs a blow though. I think if Turco doesn’t play soon, this will come back to bite the Bruins in the ass when the playoffs roll around. 

Discipline. This often gets over looked with the Bruins. They’re about as disciplined as a little kid in a candy store. They just want to beat the shit out of everyone. Last night the Bruins had 1 penalty. Yes, 1. Either the refs swallowed their whistles or both teams (who each took 1 penalty) played a very disciplined game of puck. It’s good to see from Boston, for once. 

 None that cross my mind, to be honest. It was an all around good game by Boston. 

– Greg and Justin are going to the game. Jon is in Toronto. Pizz is sexy. Will there be a recap in the morning?

– Where was Ryan Miller and are his wrists healing correctly? 

– Was Greg Zanon scratched to handle Chiarelli’s “problem” with the cleaning ladies?

– Over/under on how many people beat up Jon in Toronto?