You just got Berg’d in the A. BRUINS WIN.

We were so concerned that the Bruins would be stuck in a slump after their one game losing streak to the Minnesota North Stars (<—- sarcasm). The defense sucked, the offense sucked and Tim Thomas looked almost human.

Unfortunately for the Devils, efforts like the one the Bruins gave in Dallas REALLY piss them off. They know they are better and they were mad at themselves. As per usual when Rask has a series of good starts and Thomas has one bad start, there were a bunch of people saying now is the time to trade Thomas. Thomas heard you stupid bitches.

The Bruins just dominated everywhere. Offensive zone, neutral zone, defensive zone, faceoffs, scoring opportunities, etc. The Devils went up against a god and were severely punished.

After the jump…..Bruins change city name from Boston to Nation of Domination…..

– Everyone scored. It was awesome for us, terrible for the five Devils fans in attendance.

– How much of a beast is Shawn Thornton? The only good thing about that stupid NBC broadcast was how much the announcers kissed Thornton’s ass and said how much he means to the team and the city. First time we have ever agreed with Pierre McGuire. THE DIRT WON’T COME OFF!

First Thornton decided to cave in faces:

Then he broke Martin Brodeur’s spirit with his wicked shot:

Don’t mess with Shawn Thornton. He’ll eat your SOUL.

– Patrice Bergeron continues to be the man. Hands down one of the most underrated guys in the NHL. Bergy is unbelievable. Two goals last night and they were awesome. Bergeron for Selke!

People tend to forget how offensively skilled he is because he schools bitches with his defensive play. We heart you Bergeron.


Horton has lost some of his mojo. He needs to get it back. Hopefully that sweet goal last night helps.

– Rich Peverley. We just like him. A lot. Everyone talks about Seguin’s speed but that wily Peverley has some wheels.

– By now you must be saying “DOY staff, doesn’t praising Thomas after EVERY game get old?” It is at this point that we slap you in the face and kick you in the genitals.

Tim Thomas is amazing. Otherworldly. If there was ever an asteroid headed towards Earth, Thomas would stop it without breaking a sweat. Best goalie in the NHL. Not even a question.

– Boston’s offense. Sweet zombie jebus.

– NBC sports. Mostly because of the announcing. They could not be more awful. I don’t care if a player scored two goals one time in pee wee hockey. That is completely irrelevant to the game. Your jokes are not funny, your insight is awful and your mother wishes she was on the pill when your dad banged her. Especially you Pierre McGuire. Words cannot describe how awful you are.

– KPD’s “jokes”:

– What happened to you Martin Brodeur? We know you’re getting up there in age but this drop off is terrible. It used to be fun watching you. Now it’s like trying to watch a guy with no fingers open a can. Just awkward and sad but a little bit funny at the same time.

– Zach Parise is stuck in New Jersey.

We wish buddy. We wish.

– Will Jarome Iginla beg the Bruins to keep him tonight so he can get another crack at a Stanely Cup?

– With games on back to back nights, we will see the real Bruins tonight or the Bruins we saw in Dallas?

– Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

About Trashboy Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.