Bears Eat Panthers for Breakfast. BRUINS WIN.

 

Great win for the B's. Sure, beating the Florida Panthers is like picking on a first grader with severe head injuries, but hey a win is a win. Too bad ole Timmy Thomas couldn't play. Greatest goalie in B's history and biggest reason Claude Julien still has a job with the Bruins post -2011.

Oh well.

Good things happened though. Krug continued to be ridiculous. Marchand finally decided to start the 2013-14 season. Rask was Rask. 

Also, Tim Thomas still looks glorious. I want to live on his goalie pads.

– Hi, my name is David Krejci and I'm addicted to having magic hands.

HI DAVID!

– Welcome to the 2013-14 season Brad Marchand. We were really starting to think you went to Dallas with Seguin. Marchand got the proverbial monkey off his back and scored. Sure, it was on the Panthers, but hey it's something!

He had a real NOSE for the net there. GET IT!??! Yeah, I'm so sorry about that just now. So sorry. Like, really. Sorry.

– The Tim Thomas thank you/highlight package was a great surprise and long over due, but still great. Best goalie in B's history. There literally is no 2011 Cup without Timmy regardless of what some current team officials will tell you. If Thomas doesn't play his balls off that year we're sitting here bitching about a 40+ year Cup drought. Thanks Timmy! We'll always love you. ALWAYS.

– Using the words "Krug" and "awesome" in the same sentence is just redundant. A lot. Because Krug is so awesome you see.

– If you guessed Reilly Smith would be the best player the Bruins got in the Seguin trade so far, raise your hand. Put your hand down you dirty liar. No one thought that, but we're glad to be so pleasantly surprised. REILLY SMITH STRIKES AGAIN!

 

– If greatness had a face, what would it look like?

– Mr. Julien, we're going to have to disagree. Apparently Julien got sick of people saying the 2011 Bruins Stanley Cup win was all Tim Thomas. 

"Tim Thomas doesn't win a Stanley Cup if our team doesn't play as well as it did in front of him. This is an honest statement."

Well Jules, it's also a pretty misinformed statement. Your team played like a bag of ass in the first round against Montreal. The coaching was awful. The skaters were awful. Everything but Tim Thomas and Mikey Ryder's glove hand were awful. If not for Tim Thomas, your team doesn't make it out of the first round and you're likely coaching another team in 2012 and the Bruins core likely would have been blown up. 

Your team was awful until they got their shit together in the later rounds. You should be kneeling down before the alter of Tim Thomas and kissing his goalie skates Jules. Our pal Mark Marino summed it up great: "Zip it, Julien! If Thomas wasn't your goalie, you lose in 6, maybe 7, games to the Canadiens and you're no longer the head coach of the Boston Bruins…. not the other way around."

Hey Timmy, show us that picture of everyone who helped you out in the first round.

Yup.

– Another night, another needless headshot in the No Heads League. The NHL's continuing refusal to get serious about punishing these cheap shots is putting players in great danger. Get used to seeing this nightly around the league if you're not already. Fucking awful. Jesse Winchester is yet another useless talent who went head heading because he knew he could. 

If Jesse was trying to do his Macho Man impression his missed Halloween by a few days. Hopefully soon teams will realize Jesse Winchester's talent is deader than Randy. This one wasn't even close. Jesse led with his elbow. He even jumped. It wasn't a momentum or impact thing. He literally jumped elbow first at Kelly's face. Awful. AWFUL.

The NHL is so serious about eliminating headshots that they even decided to feature the hit under the game "highlights."

– I understand I'm being negative here, but saw a lot of Tweets about how the Bruins had a "breakthrough" game. Umm… it was the Panthers. When the Bruins finally give us at least a 40 minute effort and do this against a team that isn't a huge pile of dog crap, then maybe I'll start tossing around the "breakthrough" thing.

– Patrice Bergeron took a puck to the mouth. Luckily he seemed to be alright overall, but his perfect smile might never be the same :( :( :( 

– Bruins won 4-1 but again it was against the Panthers. They were their usual sluggish, lifeless selves for long stretches. This game wasn't a turning point in my mind. It was a much needed win against a team that is awful. That kind of effort against a better team would've resulted in a crushing loss.

– Bruins hate for team speed.

– When will the first live decapitation be in the NHL?

– Why is Tim Thomas so awesome?

– Shut up.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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