Bruins Blow But Rask Owns. BRUINS WIN!

Wow. What an undeserved victory. Bruins were outshot 44-22. They played lazy, uninspired hockey, yet they won. How you ask? Two words: Tuukka. Rask.

Rask played his balls off yet again. Hands down team MVP so far this season. Bruins were lazy, Rask bailed them out yet again. If Rask gets injured this team will implode unless they learn how to play hockey again.

And how glorious is Shawn Thornton? You don't put a man like Shawn Thornton in the press box and play some horse faced, over rated, should be in the AHL guy named Caron in his place.

Seriously though, Bruins were LUCKY to escape with a win. LUCKY. ALL HAIL RASK!

– Shawn Thornton bashers can throw whatever statistics they want at us, but the B's are a worse team when Thornton is up in the press box. Especially when his replacement is Jordan Caron. Shawn Thornton obviously paid attention during his sniper training:

Oh and Claude, Shawn Thornton has just two words for ya:

– Milan Lucic was so excited about the NASA rocket launch that he decided to send Girardi into orbit:

– We know  Rask is awesome but he's still human (barely). Someone, ANYONE help him out. Bruins played like ass. Good thing the Rangers are so terribly terrible. Rask was such a beast. His performance was boner inducing. We'll be right back. We have to go to the emergeny room. Rask made us erect for more than four hours.

– Bergeron was…. Bergeron. Beast at the dot. Awesome take aways. Awesome plays. In Bergeron We Trust.

– Paille, you were awesome. He steals the puck, passes it off the boards to himself, then sends the puck through Lundqvist's legs like a beach ball through *insert any Flyers goalie here*

And he scored on a break away! AGAIN!

– Hey Rangers, how do Rask's big, salty, vinegary balls taste in your mouth?

– Marchand, you're not contributing offensively and then you pull shit like this:

GIF: So, Brad Marchand should probably work on eliminating this from his game

Awful. Knock it off. Hope he gets a call from the league. Wonder if 'lil Alain thinks Marchand is still going to "get it." Marchand does deserve an ass kicking. No need for something like this.

– We know  Rask is awesome but he's still human (barely). Someone, ANYONE help him out. Bruins played like ass. Good thing the Rangers are so terribly terrible.

– Campbell, seriously, stop fighting people. You never win and you take way too many punches to your face. We get it, you're tough. Now how's about you just say no to fights and yes to hugs.

– Seidenberg is injured :( Hopefully it's nothing serious or long term. Not good to have another AHL call up on the back end while the Bruins are playing such sleepy, uninspired games. He pretty much won that game on his own.

– Bruins penalty kill streak is over :( Still though, that was an INSANE run. B's PK has been ridiculous. Time to start a new streak.

– This didn't look good for Bartkowski. Bruins D-men dropping like Pittsburgh in a Conference Finals match up.

– Why are the Bruins continually playing like ass? Have they tuned out Julien? Do they all have crabs? Are they collectively trying to make up for the loss of partying with Seguin's departure and playing drunk? Whatever it is no one, not even Rask can bail them out forever. 

– Seriously, what is wrong with the Bruins?

– Do they get paid extra for every uninspired shift?

– Isn't it fun to watch the Rangers suffer so much?

– What don't you go drink a tall glass of shut the hell up?

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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