RECAP: Bruins Have Sore Knees From Blowing 2 Goal Lead. #BRUINS LOSE

 

Fucking Bruins man. First period the Bruins came out like The Walking Dead, except with worse writing and sound. They were fucking garbage. Complete and utter horse crap. They looked like my butt hole after an increased intake of Mexican food and Coors Light. It was putrid. Pathetic. It was just down right awful. 

wtf

And then the second period happened and it was like listening to a bunch of big tittied angels orgasming. The Bruins stopped trying to beat the shit out of the Habs on the ice and beat the shit out of them on the scoreboard. It was a beautiful thing man. I had all the feels. 

I FEEL IT

The Bruins went into the second intermission riding a high and a two goal lead and then the third period started and they completely shit their pants. Again. 

And it's starting to show us who this team is. This is a team that can not hold a fucking lead anymore. Maybe they busted their nut too early and we were so excited we couldn't see the writing on the wall. It's inexcusable to allow a team that played the night before to go up two goals then lose that lead and then win the game in a shootout. 

And man, some of those shootout attempts were as ugly as sin. 

Fuck it lets gooooooooooooooooooooo!

Positives

Seguin

– Seguin was on point tonight. He was all over the place – in the corners, scoring goals, punking frogs. Dude is in his zone right now and that line is on fire. 

marchand

– Speaking of 'on fire' Marchand had a really good game tongiht as well. It wasn't only putting pucks in the net (which he did), but he was working hard on the ice. He was winning puck battles, he was chipping pucks to his linemates and he was flying around. Dude was great tonight. 

WWPBD

– Patrice Bergeron is doing it all again. Scoring power play goals, killing penalties, breaking hearts and getting women pregnant. The whole line was moving and shaking tonight – they were fucking awesome, per usual.

subbanturtle

– Subban Turtle was back in the Garden tonight, but this time he had company! Big ups to our boys at @DirtyWaterTees for snapping the pic. 

– Battling back from an early 2 goal lead. Gotta respect it, though they didn't keep it. 

– Justin called that the Habs would run Krejci. Tim called that Soupy would fight. 

Negatives

Rask

– I love Rask, but I hate the trantrums. Yeah you're mad, you should be. Get to the locker room. Stick tap to Adam from the PensBlog for the gif.

Gallagher

– Brandan Gallagher. Fuck you. 

– Bruins defense is once again a problem. Aaron Johnson sucks. Zdeno Chara was taking penalty and tipping in pucks. Andrew Ference was a mess. While Ryan Whitney won't change this defense, it can't be worse than Johnson. It's been bad. They need to get healthy – they need Boychuk and McQuaid and I think it's time to scratch Ference for a bit. Was Krug bad? Yeah, but he's young and this is his first game this season. You can give the kid a pass, but Ference has been doing it all year. 

fuck you ryder

– Welcome back Michael Ryder. Dickhead. 

– Games on NBC. They're the worst. 

– Bruins negating their power plays with dumb penalties. Well, that's actually a good thing. Never mind. 

LQs

– Did Iggy already file his restraining order against me? 

– When will everyone ask for Malcolm Subban to be called up? 

– How does Malcolm Subban feel about being the oldest Subban since Brad Marchand apparently killed PK during his penalty in the first period? 

– Why am I watching Storage Wars while doing this recap? 

 

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