RECAP: Don’t Call It a Comeback! Because It Fell Short. BRUINS LOSE.

 

 

So ummm… we can't even be mad at that loss. Sure, the Bruins played like crap for 99% of the game and spotted the Rangers three goals but they did not deserve a point, but they stole one!

But seriously, how bonerific (what is the girl equivalent?) were those last few minutes when Rask was pulled and the B's were storming the Rangers net like the beaches of Normandy?

THAT is the team we want to see more often. If the Bruins keep getting into this mind set that they can be lazy for a bit and then just comeback they will lose A LOT more games. You're way too good for this Bruins. WAY too good. 

And thanks a lot Bruins for cock/vagina teasing all your fans. We're all like OMGZ THEY'RE TOTZ GUNNA COME BACK! But then in the shootout you let us down. Now we know how our wives/girlfriends feel.

And on that note.. umm… we're sorry wives/girlfriends. We didn't realize how we were making you feel! :( We'd say it won't happen again but you asked us not to lie to you.

Anyway… go read more…..

- Remember when Brad Marchand was a fourth liner and most people thought he'd never be anything? Damn. He is the ultimate pest. Not only does he get under opponent's skin with his dirty, dirty potty mouth but then he scores on you and splooges all over your wife's face because he can.

Too graphic? Sorry. But not really. Think about it again while you're eating.

- Jack Mother Fucking Edwards. Call him a homer all you want but we fucking LOVE his passion for the Bruins and the game of hockey. 

Oh Jack. You're wiggity, wiggity, wiggity WHACK!

- Every time Nathan Horton scores, an angel has an orgasm.

- Lately David Krejci's sex is on fire. Whatever the hell that means. EXPLAIN YOURSELVES KINGS OF LEON! P.S. Leon, you suck. This goal does not.

- Is this McQuaid's first official Murder. Death. Kill. of the season? Someone call John Spartan!

The downside? The hit seemed to energize the Rangers rather than the Bruins. What?

- The Bruins in the third period every game.

- Johnny Boychuk's smile after his hits someone. Or just in general.

 

- Look, we love the Bruins resilience and their heart to not give up and almost come back to win after going down 3-0, but this habit of playing only 10-20 minutes a night has to stop. Really the Bruins are good but imagine how AWESOME they'd be if they got their shit together and played a full 60 minutes consistently. 

- Every goalie, no matter how good, sometimes has a bad game. This was one of those games for Rask. He let in a couple goals that even Steve Mason could've saved…

… wow. Rask, we're sorry. That was harsh. We…we didn't mean it. We'll buy you a case of high quality hair gel for our terrible rudeness.

- Seguin just can't break out of his slump. At times you can actually see his lack of confidence. We're confident he'll be back on his game eventually. We just hope it's soon.

- Why did Rick Nash have to be such a beast last night? YOU'RE A JERK RICK NASH!

- Bruins defense on that goal.

- Kriss Kross.

- Even if they do make you want to JUMP JUMP! Uh huh uh huh.

- Lucic had a rough night. He looked lost. We blame his baby. Dumb baby keeping him up at night. THIS IS WHY NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE KIDS! EVER!

- Is it really even worth mentioning the Power Play anymore? If we just pretend it doesn't exist for the Bruins, will it really go away?

- The Bruins in the first two periods the past few games.

- Where is Kriss Kross now?

- Are they still jumping?

- Is it true that Jack Edwards pulled a hamstring on that jump and might not be at spring training?

- Why does anyone care about baseball?

- Who is Eric Cartman's father!? Is it Justin? Greg? The 1997 Denver Broncos!?

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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