Here’s Your Crown King Nothing. BRUINS WIN!

rangersbruins119

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I feel like I need a cigar after watching that game. How good did it feel to finally have the Bruins back in action? Yeah, whatever game you watched before probably made you happy that you were watching the NHL, but to watch your Bruins play a meaningful hockey game since May was special

The Bruins did not disappoint us tonight either. After 113 arduous days, we finally got to see our team come back and play some hockey and they looked like the team we thought they would. From the drop of the puck it was evident that the chemistry that's taken about two seasons to cultivate never left as the Bruins took it to the Rangers. 

It's good to soak in the victory of tonight's game, but remember that it's just one game in a short 48 game sprint. However, the team pretty much dominated a team that most people picked to win the Eastern Conference, if not the Stanley Cup. The questions that were asked throughout the shortened training camp were answered, if for one night, especially when it came to Tuukka Rask and Dougie Hamilton. Hamilton didn't look "lost" out on the ice tonight, something that was a little concerning at the scrimmage (from what I've heard/been told). 

Alright, lets jump into the breakdown of this bad boy

positives

lucic

Milan Lucic – You all know how I feel about Lucic. I feel he's overpaid and over hyped in Boston just because he used to beat the shit out of people and hit Mike Van Rym through the glass. Tonight, though, Lucic was a complete monster. MONSTER.

Everyone made a huge deal about Lucic's conditioning (myself included) but he looked good tonight. He scored the opening goal of the 2013 season, on a Krejci rebound by hustling into the slot and pretty much banking it home. From there on out, Lucic hit everything that moved and eventually got tossed for telling Mike Rupp to go fuck his face. 

The two things I didn't like from Lucic was that hit n Hagelin (let's face it, it was dirty) and getting tossed for being immature. Yeah, you play the Rangers in two days but what's the point of getting tossed and taking a 10 minute penalty? There isn't one. Stupid, immature move.

merlot line

The Merlot Line – Fuck, how can't you love the Merlot Line? Once again, the 4th line brought consistent energy. Midway through the second period it seemed that New York had gained the momentum and was about to do some damage, so what happens? 

thorty

Shawn Thornton grabs Mike Rupp and just beats the shit out of him. I swear I heard Mike Rupp's mom screaming in pain from the hits her baby boy was taking. It was brutal and I loved it. About 15 seconds later, Greg Campbell threw down with Stu "Stu Pickles" Bickel. While that fight couldn't hold the Thornton fight's balls, it fired the crowd up. 

To finish off the trifecta of awesomeness, Dan Paille scored his first of the season on a tip in the second period. 

paille finger

Someone I follow on twitter called Paille "Trash can with skates". Fucking hilarious. Poor stone hands. 

rask guardian

Tuukka Rask - Great game by Rask tonight. He stopped 19 of 20 shots and told everyone who was questioning him to shut their filthy fucking mouths for one night. Did he have a few moments that caused us all the hold our chests for a heart-attack inducing play? Yup, especially when it came to playing the puck. 

Will this continue? Probably not at this level, but then again I also predicted Rask to win the Vezina. 

However, dude stood tall in net and looked good. 

negatives

The Power Play – The power play is fucking terrible. TERRIBLE! Why is this power play so fucking bad? It's SHIT SAUCE! The Bruins were some ridiculous 0-for on the power play tonight, I believe it was 0-7. The problem is that the power play doesn't even look good. It's akin to that Stanley Cup power play that couldn't get out of it's own fucking way.

There were spurts where you thought you saw a real power play emerging from whatever toilet it got lost in. I know it's only the first game, but holy fuck who puts this power play together? Helen Keller could come up with a better power play and she was deaf, dumb and blind and by my judgment a Habs fan!

What kind of job security does this person have where they can be fucking horrible at what they do and still have a job. Who do they have dirty pictures of? I mean, look at this:

Regular Season(s):
2011-2012: 3rd in offense, 15th in PP%
2010-2011: 5th in offense, 20th in PP% 
2009-2010: 30th in offense, 23rd in PP%
2008-2009: 2nd in offense, 4th in PP%

So outside of the 2008-2009 season when they lit the world on fire from November-March, the Bruins haven't cracked the top 15 in power play success. 

lingering questions

hank

- Did Mike Rupp ever get Shawn Thornton's knuckle hair out of his mouth? 

- Did the Garden staff find Ryan McDonag a large enough diaper after he shit his pants when Lucic went after him? 

- Is Nathan Horton still smiling? 

- What does a horse shoe do? Are there any horse socks? 

deal with it

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