RECAP: Luck of the O’Bergeron. BRUINS WIN!

 

Thank you Robin Lehner for letting it two really weird fucking goals to have the Bruins win their 5th straight game. I don't want to say that I called a close game, but I did during the pre-game show that I apparently fucked up hosting and it's my dumb face doing dumb facial things while other people talk. Oh well, it was my first time so consider my cherry popped in case I need to do it again. 

But the Bruins looked tired last night, which is scary considering that their schedule is absolute shit in March. 17 games in 31 days and against of the Eastern Conference's best in Pittsburgh, Montreal, and Philadelphia (despite what their record is, they can bang). If last night was any indication of what we're in for – it could be a long March. 

Looking ahead isn't what this post is about though. It's about last night. It's about Robin Lehner being strong in net but still allowing two fluky ass goals and it's about Boston gaining a point against Ottawa. In fact, last night's win vaulted the Bruins ahead of the Senators in the standings and Boston now sits 4th in the Eastern Conference – one point behind the Montreal Diving Committee. 

Fuck it, let's go. 

positives

– Tuukka Rask was disgusting in net last night. Dude was all over the place, positionally sound if the Senators were a 13 year old black girl, Rask was their R Kelly. He pissed all over them. Best part of the night? Rask flipping the fuck out and knocking over Zdeno Chara.

– Robin Lehner's 5 hole. It's fucking massive. Like a mix of the Grand Canyon and Kris Kardashian's plastic surgery bill. 

– Bruins penalty kill was filthier than a whore born and raised in Philly. And that says something because she probably smells like old cheese steaks and mistakes. 

ugly

– Bergeron's overtime goal. Clownshoes. 

clown

– This retard on Twitter. 

karlsson

Once I threw out the stats about Karlsson's short handed time, he didn't say a peep. Get fucked fanboy. 

negatives

– Everything about Chris Bourque. Penalties, turnovers. I went out a limb and said he's score the GWG, instead he sucked so much he could pull a softball through a garden hose. 

chef

– Bruins clear out attempt on Ottawa's goal. Because there wasn't one. 

– Justin for buying this: 

bourque

– Power play. 

RIP PP

– The crowd last night was awful. They were so quiet you could hear Milan Lucic screaming at the refs like he's a fucking NBA player. Shut up and keep "skating". But seriously, the building was probably sold out (or close to it) and you could hear Paul MacLean queef. 

– People tried to do the wave. SERIOUSLY. How fucking bush league is that? This isn't Fenway. Green jerseys are bad enough. I remember when people did the wave at one Bruins game and the wife hid all my gasoline filled beer bottles. I hope Justin killed them while wearing his Bourque shirt and then someone killed Justin for wearing his Bourque shirt. 

– Me hosting the pregame show. 

LQs

– Why do people think the wave is such a good idea? 

– If the Garden ever plays Sweet Caroline is it a verbal contract allowing us to burn it down? 

DP

 

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