RECAP: Lundqvist Still the King of No Cups. Bring On the Pens. BRUINS WIN!

 

Coming into this game we all had to read the idiotic narrative that Boston chokes all the time, especially when they hade a 3-0 series lead even though they put that narrative to bed the year after. But don't let facts get in the way of guys like Stan Fischler. They're too busy sodomizing themselves with a Rangers dildo to care.

Boston came out flying in this game. They outplayed the Rangers for most of Game 4 and they outplayed the Rangers even more so in Game 5. Tonight was all Bruins. Only reason it wasn't an 8-1 game was because Henrik Lundqvist was standing on his head for his team. Too bad his team already had Memorial Day Weekend tee-time plans. Henrik's reign as the King of No Cups continues for yet another year.

Having Seidenberg back was exactly what Dr. Recchi ordered for the Bruins on an elimination night. Needed to shut down what little offense the Rangers were producing and they did.

Rask was also solid. Hope people don't choke on his balls when they try to talk about his inability to play in big games.

Also not sure where Looch bought his jet engines for tonight's game but we hope he brings it against the Penguins. Holy hell did abuse the speed burst tonight.

Krejci's line and the Merlot line were on fire all game. Torey Krug, too. Holy smokes.

Onto the recap after the jump… lots of goodies in there

 

– Darkseid(enberg) returning to the line-up for Boston. Huge upgrade from Dougie (no offense to DH).

– Opening minute Bruins kept in the Rangers zone. Bergeron was a bit part of that.

– Thornton vs. Dorsett was mostly a wrestling match, but what the hell. Not sure what Dorsett had in mind.

Bruins had some solid pressure right after that fight.

– Looch dumping Dorsett like a bag of trash near the end of the first.

Looch was a beast that first period. Had some great shots. Scratch that. He was unreal all night.

– Bruins get their 10th (yes 10th) PP of the series and with it their 4th PPG of the series. 

 

Krug has set up camp in Lundqvist's brain and is just terrorizing him.

– McQuaid on the PK after the Bartkowski trip call. Dude was a beast. Bartkowski follows that up with some speed and a shot on net. Boston puts on some serious pressure afterwards.

– Fucking Fourth Line. Merlot all night and day. Best fourth line in the NHL. Puts Boston up 2-1.

– Tuukka fucking Rask. Callahan gets a breakaway and Tuukka shuts the door with a nice blocker save.

– Campbell gets his second of the game. Dagger meet heart.

 

– Rangers go up 1-0 after a scoring a PPG thanks to a screen and a bogus penalty call.

– The timely equipment issues by Lundqvist. Dude's pads must be held on with Scotch tape.

– The refs were awful. Calling marginal infractions but letting blatant stuff go by. No idea what the deal is.

– Dorsett. Holy smokes He was awful for New York.

– Rick Nash. Did he even play this series?

– Pyatt running Rask and no goalie interference call. No fucking clue.

– Stan Fischler

Never has a man been so wrong about everything.

He also called Rask a backup.

That backup just made the Rangers his bitch this series. 

– Hack writers who brought up 2010 to get some easy hits and ad revenue

 

– How awesome is the Merlot Line?

– Can we finally (again) stop bringing up 2010?

– How insane is the Bruins-Pens series going to be?

– Can Krug win the Norris this year or is too late?

Bring on the Penguins.

 

Justin

About Justin

Co-Founder for multi-award winning @DaysofYOrr. I mix nerd fandom & sports. For my historical adventure novels visit www.JMAucoin.com.

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