RECAP: Welcome to the Milan and Patrice Show! BRUINS WIN!

 

Finally, Lucic HAS COME BACK TO THE BOSTON BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUINS! 

lucic

It took a little over a month for the "Big Ball of Trans Fats" to finally get a fire lit under his ass, but he got it done last night. Lucic looked good last night, dare I say it without my body spontaneously bursting into flames. But seriously, his last goal was February 24th (I believe) so I'm not going to go out of my way to get give this guy mouth hugs like everyone else is going to this morning. 

Before that happens, I need consistency, something Lucic doesn't have in his vocabulary. 

It was a really boring game to watch, outside of Marchand and Phaneuf jawing at each other all night. I think it's hilarious that it takes some little nosed troll to get Phaneuf off of his game, but I guess it shouldn't be that hard. I also found it pretty hilarious when Andrew Ference came out of nowhere during that scrum in the second period and basically put Phaneuf in a sleeper hold. 

Phaneuf and Marchand: Battle of the Noses. 

 

positives

looch bad guy

- Fucking Milan Lucic. This guy is so ying and yang you never know if you're going to get last night's Lucic or the Lucic from the 16 games before last night. Amazing isn't it? Also amazing – the fact he can skate and buried this past Reimer. 

bergy hatter

- Bergeron was fantastic per the usual. Scored the game tying goal and then ended it in a shootout. Guy is a consummate professional and never really gets the recognition he deserves. It was a good chip in from Marchand and a good pinch (take note Boychuk on what a GOOD pinch is) by Dougie Hamilton. 

bergy

- The penalty kill went 3 for 4 last night, giving up on one goal when Aaron Johnson stupidly hit Nazim Kadri at center ice when the puck was basically at the Bruins' red line. Seriously Johnson, how fucking stupid are you? 

your fault

- Tuukka Rask was solid in net again last night. He stopped 23 shots and made some big saves in the shootout. Oh wait, Khudobin is better, I forgot everyone is now going to call 98.5 and tell them to trade Rask. 

negatives

bruins hair in food

- Aaron Johnson and Andrew Ference Pairing is a disaster. Can we stop with this? There is no good reason to have these two guys together. You know plus/minus is a fucked up stat when they can play that bad and still be a combined +1. It's probably because you don't get plus/minus on power play goals and Ference was sleeping on the first PPG from the Leafs. Jesus Christ – PLEASE CLAUDE DON'T DO THIS TO US ANYMORE. 

aint funny

- The power play sucks. The power play is so bad. Whenever that two minutes goes up on NESN's little scoreboard I am reminded of the Sex Panther scene from Anchorman. 

- #TreesForShittyPlay would burn down the mother fucking rain forest. 

chiarellihands

- Bruins fans going apeshit after Ray Shero has made two trades. Seriously, calm the fuck down people. Ray Shero clearly has some sort of black magic voodoo over 28 other GMs in the NHL (cause PC is like mother fucker please). Chiarelli isn't going to be sitting in his office, watching the NHL Network and see Shero's trades and say OH SHIT I NEED TO MAKE A TRADE JAY FEASTER WHAT YOU WANT FOR INILGA?! 

Seriously, shut the fuck up on the Bruins not making a trade yet. Save that shit for April 4th. 

STFU

LQs

- Who will blog first Jon or Pizz? Neither is an acceptable answer. 

- Isn't it about time Andrew Ference's glass groin shatters and we don't have to see him on the ice for awhile? 

- Should I get Bioshock Infinite today? 

- Where are all the chirps from the Maple Leafs fans now? 

Hey Toronto: 

dealwithit

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