59. Washington Capitals at Boston Bruins. Tuukka Time! It’s Tuukka Time! It’s Tuukka!

The Bruins and Capitals drop the puck at 1 o'clock today. Fantastic. Boston is so super awesome in matinee games, I can't wait to see what kind of effort they throw out there. Actually, that's not particularly true – lately it seems Boston has been pretty good. Whatever, honestly I don't want to talk about the Bruins – I want to talk about my immense hatred for Alexander Ovechkin. 

Holy shit do I hate the ever loving fuck out of this guy. The NHL has two people that they have completely oversaturated to NHL fans in any market: 

Sidney Crosby
Alexander Ovechkin

With Crosby, a lot of people dislike him because he whines and he complains, but he plays hard. That's something you can never take away from Sid. He plays both ends of the ice extremely well. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who calls Crosby lazy. The reason people dislike him is that the NHL shoves him down your throat and he never knows when to shut up. My point for that last comment: The whole Chara thing with accompanying video. No one cares Sid, shut up. 

Alex Ovechkin in a completely different animal. He is your typical smug asshole who acts like a smug asshole because people let him. The NHL showers you with overly ridiculous commercials like the "Ovechtrick" and him scoring goals because he's the league's biggest one way player. Case in point: 

Good job, good effort there bud. 

But he scores a shitload of goals (currently leading the league at 41) so it is apparently okay. This is the same guy who called Bruce Boudreau a fat fuck because Boudreau sat his ass for being lazy on defense. And that's the thing – he's lazy. Last year's Hart Trophy was a complete joke because he spent more than half the season coasting. 

It's reasons like this why Ovechkin will never win anything. He's a one way, me first guy who will shower in individual awards and never reach the top of the hockey mountain. No Stanley Cup, no Olympic gold – nothing. Oh, btw, awesome one goal in the tournament Alex you really did Mother Russia proud, you prick. You sniveling prick. 

You're also a huge douchebag. Nice tramp stamps, enjoy May in Moscow. 

I also despise the overrated accolades Mike Green gets. Guy looks like he should be playing bass for some band like Good Charlotte. He's another trash player – something the Capitals do a great job having on their roster. I was so happy when Thomas stoned him Thursday night in Florida. 

Okay, I'm done. I think. 

Unused photoshop from the 2012 playoffs. Thanks Joel Ward. 

Projected Lineup

In: Tuukka Rask
Out: Chad Johnson, Niklas Svedberg (Providence), Adam McQuaid (STILL)

Milan Lucic – David Krejci – Jarome Iginla
Brad Marchand – Patrice Bergeron – Reilly Smith
Carl Söderberg – Chris Kelly – Loui Eriksson
Shawn Thornton – Greg Campbell – Dan Paille

Zdeno Chara – Dougie Hamilton
Johnny Boychuk – Matt Bartkowski
Torey Krug – Kevan Miller

Tuukka Rask


Puck Drop: 1pm EST
Radio: 98.5 The Sports Hub
Online Streams: HERE

Know Your Enemy

Gameday Video/Images

Capitals Stanley Cup Parade: