Note: I like to consider myself a pretty rational hockey fan when it comes to talking about the game. I’m probably wrong in this assessment, but I like to think I can be objective and I can say when the Bruins are playing shitty, diving, being dirty, etc. The Canadiens though? The Canadiens make me irrational as a mother fucker so this is fair warning to all our friends up north, the Montreal readers who may visit here, my buddies at EOTP and everyone else. It’s not going to be nice and it’s not going to be pretty.
Youppi. You know what, fuck Youppi. What the fuck is a Youppi anyways? Youppi can lick my ass hairs with the rest of the pieces of shit up there. Seriously – Youppi is a fucking throw away mascot from the Expos and the people of Montreal, who obviously can’t stop with their history lessons, were like “HEY, LETS USE THIS GUY AS THE CANADIENS NEW MASCOT!”.
Fucking Youppi. What a piece of shit.
Speaking of piece of shit – I’m not sure if I’m ready for the influx of Canadiens fans that are going to invade the TD Garden like bleu blanc and rouge cockroaches with their attempts at an ole chant and smug faces. Seriously – some Canadiens fans are such trash. I’m not saying that Bruins fans are the sharpest knives in the drawer, but I’ve watched Canadiens fans blatantly taunt Bruins fans at the Garden and then piss and moan when a gaggle of them start giving it back to the French fucks.
But hey, I can’t wait for Canadiens fans to drown us in the overplayed video of the guy from Vancouver who spliced The Daily Show and Bruins diving clips together. Real original. I’ve only watched it a thousand times and each time laugh about it’s absurdity. Hey while we’re at it lets post videos of Subban diving and embed tweets of Pacioretty going to the fucking movies after sustaining a concussion that was so bad people jammed 911’s phone lines because they thought it was an emergency.
This isn’t a 911 joke, this is the statement of a fanbase who not only pulled that 911 bullshit but tried to ride a coach out of town because he didn’t speak French. Seriously. It would be like the Bruins fans getting together and having a rally outside of the TD Garden because Claude Julien pronounces his R’s. The Canadiens fans apparently don’t care if a coach can win a Stanley Cup, he just has to speak French. I’m not saying Cunneyworth was a Cup winning coach, but the whole premise of a coach having to speak French is fucking stupid.
Okay Pez, breathe.
And now to the game.
I have no idea what to expect tonight. Both teams have had an insane amount of time off, especially the Canadiens who last played in what seems like March 2012. There’s a potential to see a very rusty and horrible first period for both teams. There’s a chance that having all that time off for Montreal will be a detriment to them and Boston – with only five days off – could come out and force their will upon the Habs.
I already made the penalty comparison a few days ago but I’m sure I’ll get sucked into the narrative bullshit come Tuesday because I’m irrational as fuck when it comes to Montreal. It’s just something about them man.
Okay so I’ve read some people are having issues with this. Here’s easy step by step instructions.
1. Download VLC
2. Click the bear. Feels good doesn’t it baby? Oh yeah.
3. Click on any X’s you see and your stream will load. Don’t click on any ads, just the X’s.
Click the image and bookmark the page.
Puck Drop: 7:30pm EST
Radio: 98.5 The Sports Hub
Dan Paille has been cleared to play, which means that either Caron or Florek are out. Here’s the thing, I can’t remember if Justin Florek was an emergency call-up and if he was, he’ll have to be sent back down. That could mean Paille playing on the third line and Caron sticking to the fourth. I’ll go with that for now. It’s all a guess anyways.
Milan Lucic – David Krejci – Jarome Iginla
Brad Marchand – Patrice Bergeron – Reilly Smith
Dan Paille – Carl Söderberg – Loui Eriksson
Shawn Thornton – Greg Campbell – Jordan Caron
Zdeno Chara – Dougie Hamilton
Matt Bartkowski – Johnny Boychuk
Torey Krug – Kevan Miller
Know the Enemy
With the series starting today, Days of Y’Orr and spokesman PK Subban proudly present to you:
Do the Slew.