With the Bruins and Canadiens dropping the puck tomorrow, we felt that today was the proper time to launch our newest DOY product – Mountain Slew.
Do you wake up irritable?
Do you hate when people on the bus get to seat quicker than you?
Does that chirpy bitch in the office annoy you?
Well then Mountain Slew is the right drink for you! Mountain Slew is made up of premium rat piss, which means we don’t use just regular old rats – we use the finest rats we can find in our mom’s basement!
Mountain Slew will give your foot the ability to magically appear under someone else’s foot, allowing you to “unknowingly” trip them and leave the scene.
For more, let’s talk to you spokesman PK Subban. Take it away PK!
So if you want to shamelessly throw yourself to the ground or take out another person’s foot and not get called on it – take Mountain Slew.
Mountain Slew. DO THE SLEW!