chadjohnsontroymclure

Hi, I’m Chad Johnson And This is My Shutout. BRUINS WIN!

Eleven wins in a row. First team in the league to clinch a playoff spot. Chad Johnson’s fifth win in a row personally. Bruins just completely in the zone. Boners and lady boners EVERYWHERE thinking about the Bruins these days.

It was nice to see the Avs test the Bruins as much as they did. The Bruins needed that. Colorado was all over them for most of the first two periods but Johnson kept Boston in the game until they got their shit together.

And through all that, through eleven games in a row, Julien reminding them that even backing off a little could be trouble. He’s keeping his team even. The Bruins aren’t cocky, they’re just good. Can the playoffs start now please?

– Chad Johnson with a fantastic performance. He’s looked so much more comfortable the past couple of months. Nice to know the Bruins can rest Rask and not have to worry about what kind of performance they’ll get from their back up. Johnson is messing up bitches everywhere up in here!

Like this awesome save:

Or this one:

– Congrats to Gregory “I Should Never Fight” Campbell for getting in a fight and not taking a complete beating. We almost didn’t recognize him after the fight because his face didn’t look like roast beef.

– How fucking awesome is Carl Soderberg? In last year’s playoffs he was still getting used to the Bruins system and looked a little out of place. This year? YETI SMASH!

Look at this goal. Soderberg is all like “Hey Colorado you want this puck? LOL just kidding time to score!”

Then the team is like GREAT JOB CARL and he’s like bitch please this comes natural.

– Bergeron. Seriously. Mere words do nothing to describe how INSANELY good he is. Another goal, another game full of fantastic defensive stops and relentless fore checking and back checking. Bergeron is a god.

Fantastic pass from Douglas and then Bergy taps in his own rebound. Just taps it in. Gives it a little tappy. Tap, tap, taparoo.

– Dougie Hamilton: ASSIST MACHINE. Good game by that ginger kid.

– Almost positive we heard Miller yell FOR BOYCHUK right before this.

– The Bruins haven’t trailed in a period since the Clinton administration.

– This quote. Damn right buddy.

“We really need to focus on all the little details going into the playoffs. We need to not get satisfied or complacent.” –Zdeno Chara

– The Bruins were jack hammering Colorado players into the boards like porn stars.

– Less than two minutes into the game and the lazy Bruins hadn’t won yet. Julien was NOT happy.

– As Pete Blackburn pointed out, why the hell does Chara get a penalty for essentially being too strong? He does a stick life and the other guy bashes himself in the face. Terrible call.

And how does Kevan Miller get called for elbowing on what was clearly a hard but clean hit?

– Stupid empty net defense. At there’s one Benoit out there who will help out his family.

– As good as the Bruins are, Colorado again exposed the B’s weakness to team speed. If not for Johnson’s ridiculous play this could’ve been a different game.

– Bruins allowed way too many shots and scoring chances through the first two periods. Again, we’d like to thank Hi I’m Chad Johnson.

– This recap is too short. Oh well.

– Who will be the new DOY writer?

– Can the Bruins stay focused now that a playoff spot is secure?

– WILL THEY EVER FUCKING REST CHARA?!

– Shut up.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

Quantcast