Seguin. Seguin. Seguin? Seguin. Oh, Seguin. BRUINS WIN.

Dallas Seguins and Boston Old Seguins Seguin'd all the Seguins until Seguin. Seguin Seguin Seguin traded in OffSeguinseason. Seguins Stars Seguin Seguin.

Claude Julien Seguin'd "Seguin? Well, Seguin ya know? Seguined."

SHUT UP! WE GET IT! THE BRUINS HAD SEGUIN, HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE AND THEY TRADED HIM TO HOCKEY IRRELEVANCE IN DALLAS. GET OVER IT AND STOP REHASHING THE SAME STORYLINES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN YOU LAZY MEDIA DICKS.

Sweet zombie Jesus. The one thing we were excited about when Seguin got traded was no more stupid Thank You Kessel chants. But this is even worse. Seguin wasn't a fit in Boston, he's thriving in Dallas. Good for him. Wish him all the best in Texas. But he's gone now. No use to keep bringing up the same old tired story everyone has been writing about every other week since the trade. 

Seriously. You're not telling us anything we don't know, and if you want to write a "new" article about Seguin just copy and paste your last article about him and give it a new title, but that's essentially what you're doing now anyway.

Imagine if Dallas and Boston ever met in the Finals? It would be unbearable. We hate you all.

- No Bruins players got hur…. wait. What? Not the first time Chara's giant stick has tried to put an eye out. PHRASING.

Chad Johnson lost an eye and moved to Somalia to become a pirate. Fuck beans. I wonder what his pirate name will be.

- But listen Chad.  Great win. But you can never be as good as the man down South. Even if you put blood on your face.

- On the plus side for Chad, the slight injury did open some doors for him. He'll be one of the main characters in the next Twighlight movie, Twighlight: We Ruined Vampires For Everyone.

- Bruins finally gave Rask a MUCH needed rest. Not a good idea to overplay your #1 goalie during his first full 82-game season as the starter.

- That silly Krejci snapped a six game goal drought. He was all up in Lehtonen's face with the goal. Surprised Lehtonen didn't injury himself trying to make a save. He gets hurt all the time. He's a little like Rick Dipietro, except Lehtonen is actually talented.

- The Stars were so stunned by Bergeron's beauty that they just moved out of the way so he could get an empty net goal that was easier than all our ex's.

- That was a pretty INSANE redirect by Lucic. Good things happen when someone is in front of the net Bruins.

- Rat Marchand continue his midseason rebirth with another great effort and a great goal. Can he keep this up?

- McQuaid's second favorite sport is volleyball.

- Even though that was the last meeting of the season between the B's and Dallas, people will still needlessly rehash Seguin stories. I hope he wins the Cup and then goes on a fucking INSANE party spree that ends with him, Marchand, and Archer in a Vegas jail with the Cup and tattoos of each other's names.

- Absolutely no idea why this wasn't a goal. TERRIBLE call. This call was more terrible than that drunken phone call you make at 3AM to an ex-when you find out they're dating someone new. No way that was a distinct kicking motion. Some were saying the whistle blew because there was a delayed penalty on Dallas and the refs may have blown the whistle when the puck touched Daley. Still, he never controlled the puck. Dumb Dumb Dumb. Almost as dumb as putting a team in Phoenix.

- Any Seidenberg haters need only watch the games since he went down and how the defense has completely crumbled. He wasn't flashy, but he was a beast. We miss him terribley.

- Bruins penalty kill. More like FREE GOAL TIME. Generous Bruins, but doesn't help you win.

- Loui, for a guy that has already been concussed twice this season you sure don't seem to be trying to take care of yourself. Loui apparently loved his passing so much that he just watched the puck and got DRILLED by Dillon. Clean hit, but a hit that wouldn't have happened if Loui would just keep his head up and skate. Is Loui suicidal? We're here if you want to talk about it champ.

- Why do the Bruins continually refuse to address the issue of the COMPLETE INABILITY TO FINISH! Doesn't matter if you get 20 scoring chances a game if you can't finish.

- Vernon Fiddler is a coward and a dick. This is known.

Which is why his plan worked perfectly when he pissed of the Bruins enough that they wanted to get him, except two D-men had the same idea. Chara and McQuaid in the box in exchange for just Fiddler in the box is a Maple Leafs level trade for the Bruins. AWFUL.

- Is it just us, or did Cole's redirect seem like a completed accident?

- Hey coach, what do you want to do tonight?

Well, I'm very flattered but I'm married. Thanks for the invite though.

- Shut up, I hate you all.

About Jon

Jon loves Batman, The Joker, the Bruins and hates you. Especially you. He has a man crush on David Backes and hopes to someday be Mrs. Jon Boychuk.

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