To quote Ray Gillette, the Bruins beat the Panthers like the red headed step child of a rented mule. It wasn't even fair. The Bruins were all like "Sorry you have such an AWFUL team in front of you Timmy, but thems the breaks!" The assault that happened after was borderline illegal.
Over the past few years the Bruins have had a tendency to play down to their competition. Not tonight. Lucic was a beast. Krejci was showing off his magic hands. Shawn "Wayne" Thornton gave Thomas terrible flashbacks to practicing with the Bruins with his sweet, sweet moves.
We could go on and on. They had a few lapses, but whatever. The Bruins scored almost as many goals tonight as Buffalo has all season.
Serioulsy, Florida is such a sad franchise. Terrible. You know who's not terrible? Our lord and savior Shawn Thornton.
– Jovanovski declined Thornton's dinner invitation. We can't imagine why. Thornton is a great dinner guest.
Ole Ed doesn't mind taking on non fighters though. For example, from a previous game:
– Vintage Thomas in the first ten minutes of the game but then the Panthers remembered they are the Panthers and it was all down hill for Thomas after that. At one point Thomas' two defenders sandwiched him and then Reilly Mother Fucking Smith scored AGAIN! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo REILLY TIME!
– Amazing work along the boards by Krejci on the Bruins first goal. Then a great pass by Iggy to Lucic to the net bitches.
– Krejci was great all game in general. He was a play making assist machine. He's so money that strippers make it rain on Krejci.
Then Krejci scores and we're all like gee this looks familiar….
– Under rated part of Paille's game…his speed leads to the opposing teams taking a lot of dumb penalties against him.
– We're still amazed the Bruins are in the top 10 in power play percentage. We're not used to this, but we love it.
– Jon trades Lucic in fantasy hockey, Lucic rains goals. You're welcome.
– The Bruins were surprisingly fresh for playing the end of a back to back.
– Remember the days when the B's had Thomas AND Rask? That was just so unfair for the NHL. SO unfair.
– Lucic again showing how dominant he can be when he's on his game. Florida had no answer for him. He was dominating the crease, scaring the bejesus out of Panthers players when he was roaming around like a shark looking for hits and scoring goals seemed easier for him than just about anyone trying to nail Lindsay Lohan.
– On a related note, it was HILARIOUS how many times Panthers players just gave up on the puck because they didn't want to get hit by Lucic. HILARIOUS.
– Soderberg is riding a big confidence wave. That's good for the Bruins, and terrible for everyone else. Fantastic assist on Reilly's goal.
– Whoever made this. It's hilarious.
– Johnny Boychuk hits.
– Shawn Thornton scores more goals than Brooks Orpik. Thornton makes scoring goals look easy. Thornton should be suspending 15 games for being way too awesome. Shawn Thornton is the best pure goal scorer in the NHL. Thornton was all like I don't need no help, I'll make fools of the Panthers myself. What a ridiculous effort. What an effort.
– Thanks for the Stanley Cup Thomas. You'll always be a Boston hero.
– The one thing that was always incredibly frustrating/awesome about Thomas was his aggressiveness. On Chara's goal, Thomas went for the hit on Lucic rather than covering the crease. Looked like he was reenacting the goal he let in at the Winter Classic against Philly.
– It will NEVER feel right hearing SAVE BY THOMAS when he's against the Bruins.
– Panthers defense. Positive for the Bruins, HUGE negative for Thomas.
– LOLOLOLOLOLZ Scott Gomez is still in the NHL.
– Thomas trying to cut Soderberg's head off. We know you don't like foreigners Timmy but that was uncalled for.
– B's started to get a bit lazy and Florida finally scored. GO FOR THE KILL BRUINS!
– People mock chanting Thomas. He's the reason we got to see a 39 year Cup drought end people.
– NESN letting Naoko walk and replacing her with an awkward, untalented, generic blond.
– Who cares. Shawn Thornton scored. With Thornton, all things are possible.
– If god and Thornton fought, who would win?
– Trick question, Thornton is god.
– Airheads is also a hilarious movie.