kokobware

Khoko B. Ware! Bruins Win!

Did the Bruins show up for the first 40 minutes tonight? Did they show up for the third?   An early opportunity was foiled when the laws of physics, angry at Patrice Bergeron for his lifelong defiance, partnered with Dalton Prout to keep Bergeron’s shot, which had trickled past Sergei Bobrovsky, from crossing the goal […]

columbus

21. Boston Bruins at Columbus Blue Jackets. All Aboard The LumBUS!

This preview is going to be short as shit because this is the first time I’ve been able to sit down all day thanks to work. Don’t like it? Too bad. “Pez you’re an asshole trashboy.” My retort:   The Bruins are going on a nice little one game roady out to Columbus! Before we […]

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Worst Bruins Comments of the Week – Nov. 21, 2014

It’s Friday, everyone! Bad news for my liver, great news for people who love them some dumb Bruins comments. Once again, with the help of @BruinsComments, here’s this week’s ridiculous batch of hot takes cooked up by B’s fans over the past week. … And, for the third week in a row, a guest appearance from Humpty Dumpty:

Tuukka-Rask-TheImproper-feature

Rask Gives Me Blues Clues. Bruins Win!

If the Bruins turn this season around, tonight is one of the games you’ll look back at and nod approvingly. Blues are one of the best teams in the league, especially on the offensive side of the game. You match that up against a depleted Bruins blue line, and this game had all the makings […]

missingmilan

Counterpoint: No More Excuses For Milan Lucic.

I hope you have your barf bags, pitchforks and torches ready because I am about to refute a post written this weekend from the “greatest sportswriter who ever lived”. If you haven’t read Haggs’ dumpster fire of a post defending Milan Lucic, you can do it here. For those that don’t feel like giving him […]

Boston Carolina

Oh, Boston! Now I love you again!! Bruins WIN!

Ahhhhh…Just what the Bruins needed.  A nice and easy Saturday matinee against a team that was (until recently) rivaling Buffalo as the biggest pile of diarrhea on ice.  No matter what their recent performance might suggest, Boston is still a far better team than the Hurricanes ON PAPER.  As such, Carolina was a welcome opponent […]

carolina

19. Carolina Hurricanes at Boston Bruins. Need That Home Cooking.

After a long trip on the road sometimes you just want to come back home and get some delicious, warm home cooking. While the road has not been a pleasant place for the Bruins to travel, they are 6-4-0 at home and welcoming one of the worst teams in the NHL. If the Sabres and […]

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Worst Bruins Comments of the Week – Nov. 14, 2014

Last week I complained about a lack of horrible comments due to the team playing well. Welp, no such problem this week. …   And making an appearance for a second consecutive week, The Best Sportswriter There Ever Was!  

turdsandwich

Trade Chara, Amirite? Bruins Lose.

defense (dəˈfens,ˈdēˌfens) noun 1. The act of defending against attack, danger, or injury. 2. A means or method of defending or protecting. 3.  Sports Means or tactics used in trying to stop the opposition from scoring. What a fucking disaster. The blue line is an absolute mess right now. Dougie is the only one capable of inspiring any confidence but when you stick him with the 2014 version of Dennis Seidenberg for 20 minutes a night, results may vary. This isn’t a knee jerk reaction or […]

montreaicel

18. Bruins at Canadiens. Le Cry.

Last night was embarrassing. It was like being a kid and listening to your parents fight about your mum catching your dad slathering his nut sack in peanut butter and letting the neighbor’s dog lick it off. Suddenly you’re just sitting there like… It is tough to just say ‘Burn the tape and look forward!’ […]

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Defense is Optional. BRUINS LOSE.

(Note: This recap isn’t going to be very good. I fell asleep shortly after the game. It’s been a VERY long work week. Yup, tossing out excuses today) That was ugly. I’m talking Carrot Top ugly. We get a lot of shit at DOY for not drinking the black and gold Koolaid. But things aren’t […]

R4du3MO

Entire Bruins’ Roster With Julien’s 1985 Mustache

You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t even know you wanted it. Redditor thesavagemonk, however, knew you needed it. Claude Julien’s 1985-1986 picture shows us that he used to have rocking hair and a glorious upper lip caterpillar. Monk decided to see what every current Bruins player looked like with said mustache. What he did, my […]

torontoice

17. Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs. The Real Test Begins.

The Bruins have won five in a row and are coming off of a pretty good thumping of New Jersey. One could say the real test starts tonight. While the ten points is nice, the Bruins have faced Edmonton, Buffalo, Ottawa, Florida and New Jersey. The highest ranked club among those five teams is 8th place in […]

Bruins Devils Scoreboard

Nothing to see here…Bruins WIN!

It’s frustrating at this point in the season to still have no clue what kind of team the Bruins are.  After a slow start to the season, they brought a modest four game winning streak into Tuesday night’s home tilt against the Devils.  The team has played admirably with the litany of injuries it has […]

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