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SHOCKING TWIST! Mr. Perfect Named a Selke Finalist

OK, so not really a shocker. What would be shocking is if Patrice Bergeron wasn’t named a Selke finalist. But he is. And soon he’ll have another Selke in his trophy case at home. Or he should. From BostonBruins.com: Bergeron completed the 2014 campaign ranked third in the league in faceoff percentage, winning puck drops […]

detroit

ECQF Game 4. Bruins at Red Wings. Guess who’s back, back again?!

BOS LEADS  SERIES 2-1. Can we stop with the Marchand bullshit? I feel like there needs to be a hockey clinic on the difference between diving and embellishing. Can they mean the same thing? No, they can’t but they can be used in the same sentence. Point: PK Subban is diving and embellishing to get […]

MarchandThePest

Marchand to Twitter: ‘You Know Nothing’

Brad Marchand took a hit from Brendan “Let Me Fight Chara” Smith last night near the offensive blue line. He got hit on one knee but favored the other while getting up, causing a firestorm on twitter. But after the game, Brado had some choice words for all your Tweeters: Shots. Fired. To be fair, […]

ECQFGame3Final

Occupy Octopi…Bruins Win!

First rant. Then recap. The Octopus throw is the dumbest fucking tradition in sports. It’s disgusting. Who in their right mind would want to skate through that slime? It hasn’t even made sense in about fifty years. You wanna throw a sixteen-tentacled sea beast on the ice? Go for it. Shouldn’t be too hard to […]

detroit

ECQF Game 3. Bruins at Red Wings.

I feel like I need to rant before every preview. This time it’s not the sack tapping of Milan Lucic that is pissing me off, it is the arrogance of Bruins fans. Okay, let me change that last sentence – it is the arrogance of shitty Bruins fans. I follow a lot of Bruins fans on Twitter […]

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HERE COMES PETER COTTONTAIL, REVELLING IN THE DETROIT FAIL…BRUINS WIN!

A belated Happy Easter, DOY readers!  Hopefully the Easter Bunny was good to each and every one of you, loading you up with pounds of chocolate, Peeps, and jelly beans…while keeping you safe from the dangers of type 2 diabetes in the process. For some of us, a Bruins playoff game was the best way […]

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Now you can own Tyler Seguin’s game-used cup…

Ever wanted to sniff Tyler Seguin’s jock strap? Yes? No? Maybe? What about physically own one of the mangood armor he wore when he was playing for the Boston Bruins? Well now you can! cobracon39 on eBay is selling Seguin’s cup. It can be yours for $250.oo + s/h. And the description: Up for sale is […]

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ECQF Game 2. Red Wings at Bruins. And on the third day, they scored (again?)

Before I get into the game preview, I want to address the Lucic crotch hit. For some reason, Milan Lucic feels it is completely necessary to smash another man’s hangers when he’s not paying attention. It is the largest form of cowardice you can display. You’re taught at a young age that you fight fair […]

ECQFgame1

Datsyuk Makes Us Hate Wizards. BRUINS LOSE.

Oooooh my name is Pavel Datsyuk. I have magic hands and score fancy goals meeeeeeeh. Yeah Bruins. That’s what happens when you give Datsyuk space. Girls get off by just looking at his magic hands. If Datsyuk worked at a massage parlor and gave Happy Endings we’d go at least 80 times a week. Great […]

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Coach Q Goes Dancing (GIFs)

Last night Crotch Coach Q had some colorful words for the refs and animated gestures to go along with it. What everyone didn’t realize is that Coach Q is practicing for his summer dancing league he’s expecting to be joining in a week or two. Man. Dude can dance. Don’t be hating. Lady in the […]

detroit

Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. Game 1. Red Wings at Bruins.

IT’S HERE! IT IS HERE! After the NHL teased us, probably called us names and gave us horrible votes on Tinder – the Boston Bruins are finally starting the playoffs. Seriously, that Chara face will always make me laugh. I feel like it’s been forever since the Bruins last played. The playoffs started on Wednesday […]

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