Julien masks

No defensemen? No problem! Bruins LOSE!

The Winnipeg Jets are not that good.   While their record suggested otherwise coming into Friday night’s affair at the MTS Centre (the second ‘e’ is silently Canadian), the Bruins are a better hockey club in every facet of the game.  And yes, every facet includes overall skill.  I’ll gladly take a roster with Bergeron, […]

Vancouver Canucks v Nashville Predators

There’s a tear, in my Nyquil…Bruins LOSE!

Last week, after thirty eight years and some change, I got to attend my very first Bruins game in Boston.  No, that doesn’t make me any less of a fan.  In fact, seeing them in the Garden for the first time brought to five the number of NHL cities in which I’ve seen the Bruins […]

Bucyk Thornton

Seven is greater than four…Bruins LOSE!

Fifteen goals in the last ten games.   If I do the math properly – which is never a given with my questionable skills in the subject – that equates to 1.5 goals per game.  No team is going to come out on the winning side of the scoreboard very often with offensive output like […]


Unleash the Krack-…the Pastrna…the Pastrnacken? Fuck it. Bruins LOSE.

What an eventful two days for the Bruins!  After Saturday’s putrid showing against Montreal, we’ve seen the following transpire (listed in no particular order): Brad Marchand removed from IR, Zdeno Chara moved to LTIR (even though reports are saying he could return in as early as ten days from now), the overachieving Seth Griffith sent […]

Boston Carolina

Oh, Boston! Now I love you again!! Bruins WIN!

Ahhhhh…Just what the Bruins needed.  A nice and easy Saturday matinee against a team that was (until recently) rivaling Buffalo as the biggest pile of diarrhea on ice.  No matter what their recent performance might suggest, Boston is still a far better team than the Hurricanes ON PAPER.  As such, Carolina was a welcome opponent […]

Bruins Devils Scoreboard

Nothing to see here…Bruins WIN!

It’s frustrating at this point in the season to still have no clue what kind of team the Bruins are.  After a slow start to the season, they brought a modest four game winning streak into Tuesday night’s home tilt against the Devils.  The team has played admirably with the litany of injuries it has […]

Dalai Lama Bruins

For the Love of Buddha…Bruins Win!

In what can only be described as a bizarre month for Boston, the B’s limped into Saturday’s matchup against the Senators with a not-so-sparkling 6-6 record.  Zdeno Chara…out.  Torey Krug…out.  David Krejci – he of his own early season injury issues – was a last minute scratch and ‘replaced’ by Chris Kelly on the top […]

Bruins Sabres Scoreboard

Sveddy or Not…Here we come! Bruins WIN!!

As Marshall stated in this morning’s preview, tonight’s matchup against Buffalo couldn’t have come at a more opportune time.  This was as much a gimme game as any on an overcrowded October slate, and luckily the Bruins didn’t disappoint.  Kind of.  I got the call to write this recap because the rest of the guys […]

Ovie Smile

If a recap fell in the forest…Bruins LOSE (badly)!

I was actually in the airport the other day when Pez asked whether I was able to write this recap.  I, like the Bruins, was on my way home from the shit show that had transpired at the Joe on Thursday night.  Jokingly (or at least I thought at the time), I said if the […]

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NHL Draft 2014: Bruins…win?

Meet the new boss.  Same as the old boss.  But at least we drafted the foreign exchange student from ‘Can’t Hardly Wait’!  You remember him, right?  The one who is taught to ask everyone to touch his penis??  Look at the headshot, and then look at the GIF.  Go ahead…tell me I’m wrong.     […]

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Bruins: Days of Future Future, pt. 4

After focusing on talented offensive defenseman Anthony Deangelo last time, we decided to move the search back up front.  DOY didn’t travel far, either, settling on Deangelo’s talented and equally enigmatic teammate, Nikolai Goldobin.     Nikolai Goldobin, RW 5’11”, 180 lbs Sarnia, OHL ISS Ranking: 26   Goldobin’s profile matches that of the other […]

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Bruins: Days of Future Future, pt 2. Or is it pt 3?

Now that our healing has begun…and Pez has shown us that it’s ok to love (and write) again… it’s time to continue examining the B’s potential first round draft prospects.  If there’s anything that we learned from Dennis Seidenberg’s knee injury this past year, it’s that German efficiency extends even to the ability to heal […]

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Bruins: Days of Future, uh, Future?

“Another day, another draft pick that would be a good fit for the Boston Bruins if the 2014 NHL Draft just so happens to transpire in an advantageous way that would greatly benefit the hockey club.” – Bo Jackson   We continue down the draft road to Philadelphia by making a stop BEHIND THE (former) […]

Draft 3

It Feels a Bit Draft-y Up in Here

Wow!  What a series, right?  The hockey world was shocked to see the Kings prevail in 5 games to win the Stanley Cup against the New York Rangers!  Ugh…No.  Despite multiple overtime games, the series was pretty boring and uneventful, and almost everyone’s prediction of domination from the west came to fruition.  Gary Bettman’s wet […]


Number Five is Alive…Bruins WIN!!!

With Matt Fraser’s overtime winner in Game 4, the Bruins were able to wrestle control of the series back from the Canadiens and returned home to Boston squarely in charge.  I mean, one can make the realistic argument that Boston should be up 3-1, with the only game they were outplayed being the Game 3 […]