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Krejci Rules. South Park Stick of Truth Rules. BRUINS WIN!

Yes, so if we're being honest as soon as the game was over the DOY staff went right back to playing South Park: Stick of Truth so we're recap-less today. We'd apologize, but if you've played the game you'll understand.  Here's some notes though: – Krejci made it rain hats at TD Garden…and the Jeremy […]

A Patrice Purrgeron Exclusive Interview: Jeremy Jacobs

  He is a man that goes by many names. Satan. Senor Douchebag. Ole Turkey Neck. The Rasin Balls. Beelz. That Old Greedy Selfish Cum Dumpster. Scrooge McJacobs. To his family, he's simply known as Jeremy. Good evening. I am Patrice Purrgeron and I'm here to expose the biggest cancer in Boston. Some might call […]

Nine Golden Facts You Didn’t Know About Patrice Bergeron

    There is so much more to Patrice Bergeron than his incredibly handsome face. Bergeron's 2014 gold medal is just one of many great accomplishments in his career. Bergeron has won so much hardware that he craps gold and silver. When Fort Knox is short on gold, they call Bergeron. How have all the […]

Awesome Game, Not So Awesome Ending. BRUINS LOSE.

Why are Bruins-Blues games so magically delicious? Please, PLEASE let them meet in the playoffs. Seven games of this would be ridiculously good. Sure the Bruins lost, but what a great game. Gutsy performance by the Bruins too. Johnny Boychuk, according to Jack Edwards, had played more games than the rest of the Boston D-Men […]

Luongo’s Five Hole Looser Than Bunny Ranch Employees. BRUINS WIN!

Suck it Vancouver. Suck it long, suck it hard. – Iginla: Hey Lucic, show me your best impression of how easy it was to score on Luongo in the 2011 Finals! LOLZ – Vancouver REALLY needed a goal. When Krug and Lucic collided, Daniel Sedin grabbed the puck and went in for a break away […]

There ain’t no party like a Bruins goal party. BRUINS WIN!

To quote Ray Gillette, the Bruins beat the Panthers like the red headed step child of a rented mule. It wasn't even fair. The Bruins were all like "Sorry you have such an AWFUL team in front of you Timmy, but thems the breaks!" The assault that happened after was borderline illegal. Over the past […]

Seguin. Seguin. Seguin? Seguin. Oh, Seguin. BRUINS WIN.

Dallas Seguins and Boston Old Seguins Seguin'd all the Seguins until Seguin. Seguin Seguin Seguin traded in OffSeguinseason. Seguins Stars Seguin Seguin. Claude Julien Seguin'd "Seguin? Well, Seguin ya know? Seguined." SHUT UP! WE GET IT! THE BRUINS HAD SEGUIN, HE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE AND THEY TRADED HIM TO HOCKEY […]

How Many Krugs Does It Take to Beat Winnipeg? BRUINS WIN!

B's just keep giving the finger to the injury bug. Guys dropping like flies but Bruins continue to win. Seems like it's a different person stepping up every game which is awesome. This time is was Torey "Two Goals" Krug. That's his mob name by the way. Bruins are generally TERRIBLE at matinee games. Apparently […]

Marchy March and The Funky Bunch. BRUINS WIN.

Not even blizzards can stop the Bruins. Boychuk dropped a bomb on the Nashville net. Lucic and Iginla hooked up like two horny teens at a frat party. Marchand undressed Mike Fisher. Suck it Preds. http://youtube.com/watch?v=iuq6eRUucw0 – Marchand should be suspended for 15 games because that slick move he pulled on Fisher for the game […]

AHL Star Marchand Dazzles in NHL Debut. BRUINS LOSE.

Despite the loss, we were REALLY impressed with the new guy Brad Marchand. Two goals in his first game of the season was pretty impressive. Huh? He's… been on the team? Same Marchand from last year and the year before? Get outta here. Really!?  Hell of a game by the kid. Hopefully this is the […]

Chara Mad! CHARA SMASH! Bruins Win!

Last night, the Bruins and Flames staged a retelling of one of many shitty stories from some religious book, David and Goliath. The lowly Flames, or David, decided it was a good idea to throw sticks at the eyes of an angry giant, or Chara. But unlike that silly fable, David was not victorious. No, […]

Rob Dimaio: Bruins Legend

DOY staff member Robb participated in Movember, and to meet his goal we promised anyone that donated at least $50 that we'd write an article on the topic of their choosing. One of the requests was a post explaining why Rob Dimaio was the greatest Bruins player to wear #19. This request was probably the […]

We Still Love You Shawn Thornton

Before we start here, let's just get something out of the way since almost everyone on the internet is sensitive these days. We are not saying what Thornton did is justified in any way. We are not saying we are glad he did it. What we are saying, however, is that Shawn Thornton is still […]

LOLeafs. BRUINS WIN!

Well that was fun. Leafs scored first, small amount of B's fans unreasonably panic. Then Bruins just dominate. Second game in two days and one could've expected a rough effort after the emotional, physical disaster the game against Pittsburgh was. Have to hand it to the Bruins though. They somehow found a way to put […]

Boychuk Hurt, Habs Win. BRUINS DOUBLE LOSE!

 Only thing we're really thinking about right now is Johnny Boychuk's health, as a player sure, but more importantly as a person. Johnny Boychuk is one of the toughest bastards in the NHL. When the Bruins won the Cup in 2011 Boychuk opened a beer bottle with his teeth. In the video clip you can […]

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