23. Pittsburgh Penguins at Boston Bruins. The Pastrnak Hype Train Is Now Boarding.

It begins! The Bruins called up David Pastrnak yesterday and there is a chance he will play tonight. With the rash of injuries the Bruins have suffered over the past couple of months, I am a little surprised to see  that Pastrnak is just making his first call up. Claude Julien has stated that Pastrnak […]


22. Montreal Canadiens at Boston Bruins. Ermagerd Scheduling Conspiracy!!!!

Now before I start my preview, I hope the headline brings in a lot of complaining Montreal Canadiens fans. You already know the usual bullshit you’re going to hear: “Dur, look at the stupid Bruins fans complaining about the schedule!” “Ugh the Ruins fans already using the wheel of excuses!” To all those wearing the […]


21. Boston Bruins at Columbus Blue Jackets. All Aboard The LumBUS!

This preview is going to be short as shit because this is the first time I’ve been able to sit down all day thanks to work. Don’t like it? Too bad. “Pez you’re an asshole trashboy.” My retort:   The Bruins are going on a nice little one game roady out to Columbus! Before we […]


Counterpoint: No More Excuses For Milan Lucic.

I hope you have your barf bags, pitchforks and torches ready because I am about to refute a post written this weekend from the “greatest sportswriter who ever lived”. If you haven’t read Haggs’ dumpster fire of a post defending Milan Lucic, you can do it here. For those that don’t feel like giving him […]


19. Carolina Hurricanes at Boston Bruins. Need That Home Cooking.

After a long trip on the road sometimes you just want to come back home and get some delicious, warm home cooking. While the road has not been a pleasant place for the Bruins to travel, they are 6-4-0 at home and welcoming one of the worst teams in the NHL. If the Sabres and […]


18. Bruins at Canadiens. Le Cry.

Last night was embarrassing. It was like being a kid and listening to your parents fight about your mum catching your dad slathering his nut sack in peanut butter and letting the neighbor’s dog lick it off. Suddenly you’re just sitting there like… It is tough to just say ‘Burn the tape and look forward!’ […]


Entire Bruins’ Roster With Julien’s 1985 Mustache

You didn’t ask for it. You didn’t even know you wanted it. Redditor thesavagemonk, however, knew you needed it. Claude Julien’s 1985-1986 picture shows us that he used to have rocking hair and a glorious upper lip caterpillar. Monk decided to see what every current Bruins player looked like with said mustache. What he did, my […]


17. Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs. The Real Test Begins.

The Bruins have won five in a row and are coming off of a pretty good thumping of New Jersey. One could say the real test starts tonight. While the ten points is nice, the Bruins have faced Edmonton, Buffalo, Ottawa, Florida and New Jersey. The highest ranked club among those five teams is 8th place in […]

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16. New Jersey Devils at Boston Bruins. RIP Defense.

After what seemed like a month off the Bruins are back in action. I always find NHL scheduling weird. Boston will have played their fourth straight home game tonight but then go on the road to play back to back roadies. At least it is the Maple Leafs and Canadiens so the boys can have a […]


15. E monton Oilers at Boston Bruins. The D Is Silent.

Another day, another game against a bottom feeder that the Bruins should dominate. Edmonton sucks. The Oilers suck so much that the whores sex workers in Edmonton are currently filing a motion with their pimp to remove Rexal Place from their corner. The defense in Edmonton has always been a disaster and that trend continues this season. […]


Carl’s In Charge.

Newest Yeti in the neighborhood, He plays down low and it’s understood, He’s there just to feed pucks to Loui, And he’s helping Chris Kelly! Carl’s in charge, Play the song and goal light. Carl’s in charge, Of faceoffs and zone time. And I sing, I want, I want Carl in charge of line three. […]


14. Florida Panthers at Boston Bruins. Enemy Twos-itory

Twos is back but this time he’s wearing a Florida Panthers jersey. The weird thing is that while I’ve missed Iginla and Boychuk like crazy, I haven’t really missed – or even acknowledged – that Shawn Thornton is no longer a Bruin. I guess this is inevitably what happens when you replace a fourth liner […]


Bruins Extend Head Coach For Three More Years

News broke over the weekend that the Bruins and Claude Julien have agreed to a contract extension. For some odd reason the Bruins didn’t release the terms. TSN in Canada believes it is a three year deal and if they believe it, I will believe it. From TSN: BOSTON — Claude Julien, who led the […]


12. Boston Bruins at Buffalo Sabres. [OMG SUPER OFFENSIVE HEADLINE!]

Tonight’s game is the NHL’s version of Cartman’s ‘Crack Baby Athletic Association’. One baby, the Boston Bruins, has a crack addiction because they were unlucky. They were the unfortunate spawn of a whore and a well paid executive who likes to spunk in the back of cars. The other crack baby, the Buffalo Sabres, was […]