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carolina

43. Bruins At Hurricanes. Gotta Get Those Points

Hope everyone in the Boston area is shoveled out after our first major snow this year. I have to say, as much as I hate the position that the Bruins are in, I love the suspense of being potentially 3 places out of a playoff spot, to being in the second playoff spot in the […]

florida

42. Bruins at Panthers: Whoaaa We’re Halfway There

And you better fucking believe we’re living on a prayer. If you’re a listener of our podcast: The Optional Skate (and why wouldn’t you be, we’re hilarious), then you may remember that early on, we were talking about goals for this season.  Mine was simple: Make. The. Damn. Playoffs.  I also said this with the caveat that I […]

tortsgruber

Psh. 13 Is An Unlucky Number Anyways. BRUINS LOSE!

Well.  That happened. I wasn’t ready for this game.  My stomach and liver are still recovering from the holidays, and some jerk blew dust in my eyes immediately after I heard about Carrie Fisher.  Obviously the Bruins were going through some similar issues, if not then they obviously did not show up to play early against […]

carolina

36. Bruins At Hurricanes. SO MUCH WRAPPING TO DO

Yeah, if you’re anything like me and celebrate any gift-giving holiday around this time of year, then you either still need to go shopping, do wrapping, or both.  If you’re nothing like me and have finished all of that shit… Ahem… anyways, the Bruins have a quick turnaround after a solid win last night and […]

ironmongerjulien

A Happy Life Day To All. BRUINS WIN!

I was torn tonight.  On one hand, Bruins were on, Vatrano was playing, and Boston had the chance to either gain a little ground on Florida, or fall out of a playoff spot.  On the other hand, I just found the USB drive I have with a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special, and […]

nyiice

34. Islanders at Bruins. Trust The Gorton’s Fisherman

Oh Islanders, what happened to you? After a rough stretch, you were heading in the right direction.  You drafted a stud in Little Johnny Tavares, had three playoff appearances in four years, made it to the 2nd round last year. Now? Woof. That is some unsavory company you’re keeping there Islanders.  Your mother and I […]

torontoice

29. Toronto at Boston. Leafs In The Gutters

I am so disgusted with this Bruins organization right now. From the coaching, to the players, right down to the guys who have to clean up the spoked B in the locker room after Jimmy Hayes finishes shitting all over it, they’re all accountable.  Don’t get me wrong, I expected this season to be a […]

washingtonice

27: Boston Bruins at Washington Capitals. Impotent PPs

“I’m going to paint my dick like the Washington Monument then come back and say “i’ll show you a capital idea” -@JonFDOY Well with an introduction like that, the rest of this preview can only be disappointing, so lets get it over with. There have been a number of surprising twists and turns to the […]

philadelphiaice

23. Bruins at Flyers- New Pokemon Game, Still No Charazard.

Anyone else not sure what to make of this team? Loses to both Calgary and Ottawa, then a solid thrashing of a Stamkos-less but skilled Tampa team.   Tonight they’re going against one of their fellow teams from the magical PrayingForAWildCardSpotLand. Bruins and Flyers are almost polar opposites from each other.  If Marchand and Pastrnak aren’t on […]

colorado

GameDay Preview 16: Kick’em Right In The Rocky Mountain Oysters

Those are bull testicles, in case you didn’t know. Happy Sunday!  5 games in seven days, isn’t this fun??  Last night the Bruins predictably beat the Coyotes, read all about it here. As was mentioned in yesterday’s preview, the Avalanche aren’t what you would call one of the elite teams in the league right now.  They […]

phoenixice

GameDay Preview 15: Desert or Dessert?

Bruins go all Bear Grylls (get it?!?! BEAR!!) tonight and head to the harsh desert to take on the Phoenix Arizona Coyotes.  The arid wasteland in Arizona is a perfect fit for a team that manages to be in last place in a division that also has Calgary AND Vancouver.  ‘Member when people thought Phoenix Arizona was going  to be […]

GameDay Preview 11. Ranger Danger

UHG…YOU AGAIN! It was only 10 days ago when the Rangers took their turn plowing on the nickel hooker that was the back of the Bruins’ net, which rounded out a nice little losing streak for our heroes in black and gold.  Since then, the Bruins have played in three divisional games and won them all. […]

redwings

GameDay Preview 8. First Game of Our Low-Carb, No Pasta Diet.

Let me guess… We have a divisional game tonight? -Yep Could too many early divisional losses have seeding implications down the line? -Most Likely Detroit is shattering expectations so far (well…at least mine, but then again I thought Florida was going to leading the division).  They’re 2nd in the division, coming in with 12 points in […]

r1kfxak

Gameday Preview 6: Where the Wild Players Are.

After losing to a Montreal team that is so far in the Bruins’ collective heads that they might as well be grey matter, the Bs are taking on the Minnesota Wild tonight. If you ask NBC on a Wednesday night, this could be considered a rivalry game.  Seriously, that happened once.  Thankfully, that’s not the case. If […]

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