new jerseyice

16. New Jersey Devils at Boston Bruins. RIP Defense.

After what seemed like a month off the Bruins are back in action. I always find NHL scheduling weird. Boston will have played their fourth straight home game tonight but then go on the road to play back to back roadies. At least it is the Maple Leafs and Canadiens so the boys can have a […]

injury-bug

Bruins interested in a defenseman

The injury bug is going around so fast among the Bruins defensemen that even Jenny McCarthy is demanding for a vaccine. Here’s the current IR list: – David Warsofsky: Groin strain, out 2-4 weeks – Kevan Miller: Dislocated right shoulder, out indefinitely – Torey Krug: Broken finger, out 2-3 weeks – Zdeno Chara: Knee injury, out […]

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Worst Bruins Comments of the Week: Nov. 7, 2014

Ahh it’s that time of week again where, with the help of @BruinsComments, we snag some of the most asinine comments made by Bruins fans over the past week and put ‘em here for your enjoyment. After a start slower than your inbred cousin from Alabama, the B’s are starting to put it together and have ripped off four […]

makerain

Carl’s In Charge of Our Days and Our Nights. BRUINS WIN!

We’re watching the first period and we’re thinking the game’s pretty even for some crazy reason. The Oilers are terrible. Why is it so even? Then the second period happens and the Oilers are dominating the Bruins and we’re more confused than an E Monton fan when they hear the word “playoffs.” Third period starts, […]

edmonton

15. E monton Oilers at Boston Bruins. The D Is Silent.

Another day, another game against a bottom feeder that the Bruins should dominate. Edmonton sucks. The Oilers suck so much that the whores sex workers in Edmonton are currently filing a motion with their pimp to remove Rexal Place from their corner. The defense in Edmonton has always been a disaster and that trend continues this season. […]

NHL15-Marchand-SingingGuitar

Three In A Row. Bruins Win!

      Home game against a team with a weaker offensive attack than the ISIS navy. Should be a cakewalk, right?   The Bruins were outplayed for almost the entire night, but the resurgence of the Bruins’ top line would once again prove fruitful. Three in a row for the good guys now and […]

carlsincharge

Carl’s In Charge.

Newest Yeti in the neighborhood, He plays down low and it’s understood, He’s there just to feed pucks to Loui, And he’s helping Chris Kelly! Carl’s in charge, Play the song and goal light. Carl’s in charge, Of faceoffs and zone time. And I sing, I want, I want Carl in charge of line three. […]

florida

14. Florida Panthers at Boston Bruins. Enemy Twos-itory

Twos is back but this time he’s wearing a Florida Panthers jersey. The weird thing is that while I’ve missed Iginla and Boychuk like crazy, I haven’t really missed – or even acknowledged – that Shawn Thornton is no longer a Bruin. I guess this is inevitably what happens when you replace a fourth liner […]

juliengivingfinger01

Bruins Extend Head Coach For Three More Years

News broke over the weekend that the Bruins and Claude Julien have agreed to a contract extension. For some odd reason the Bruins didn’t release the terms. TSN in Canada believes it is a three year deal and if they believe it, I will believe it. From TSN: BOSTON — Claude Julien, who led the […]

Dalai Lama Bruins

For the Love of Buddha…Bruins Win!

In what can only be described as a bizarre month for Boston, the B’s limped into Saturday’s matchup against the Senators with a not-so-sparkling 6-6 record.  Zdeno Chara…out.  Torey Krug…out.  David Krejci – he of his own early season injury issues – was a last minute scratch and ‘replaced’ by Chris Kelly on the top […]

ottawaice

13. Ottawa Senators at Boston Bruins. The Quest For A Winning Record.

November 1st. Luckily, I didn’t play the Halloween 2014 drinking game, where you take a shot every time you see an Elsa. Because I would have taken 42 fucking shots. I’m so glad I have two sons and have never seen Frozen. Nothing but Batman and Lego Movie for us. More importantly, the putrid month of […]

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Worst Bruins Comments of the Week (Oct. 31, 2014)

Happy Halloween, everyone! Between the Bruins’ early season struggles and this year’s holiday falling on a Friday, it seems like the stars have aligned for the scariest edition of Worst Bruins Comments yet. Another quick rundown of what this is all about for those of you who don’t know: As you might have noticed, our bud Jim […]

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The Single Most Offensive Post Ever Written. Bruins Win!

For those unaware, today’s gameday preview caused a bit of a stir. Someone who doesn’t normally read the site asked us to change the headline. At first, we declined. As expected, twitter reacted calmly and rationally. J/K, they totally lost it. Story of the day: people came to an offensive hockey blog, read something offensive, and […]

buffalo

12. Boston Bruins at Buffalo Sabres. [OMG SUPER OFFENSIVE HEADLINE!]

Tonight’s game is the NHL’s version of Cartman’s ‘Crack Baby Athletic Association’. One baby, the Boston Bruins, has a crack addiction because they were unlucky. They were the unfortunate spawn of a whore and a well paid executive who likes to spunk in the back of cars. The other crack baby, the Buffalo Sabres, was […]

minnesota

11. Minnesota Wild at Boston Bruins. Zach Attack Is Back Jack!

Minnesota seems like one of those weird, sneaky teams. You don’t really hear about them because they’re Minnesota. Their jerseys look like Christmas is always on its period and outside of throwing Scrooge McDuck’s vaults of coins at Zach Parise they haven’t really done anything with their franchise. Most people hear about the Wild because […]

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