Hey Idiots, You Can’t Tank With 9 Games Left.

The Bruins have purchased, received their license and driven the black and gold struggle bus into a barber pole striped wall. They now see themselves on the outside looking into the NHL playoffs as the Ottawa Senators strap on their rocket skates and zoom into 8th place. With nine games left on the schedule, Bruins […]


Dougie Hamilton out indefinitely :(

I mean… we all knew this was coming but doesn’t make it hurt less… Bruins are currently out of a playoff spot, too. Ottawa is a point up with a game in hand.  


Welcome to the Boston Bruins Hunger Games!

Though the Bruins are out of the playoffs as of last night, they face a much bigger challenge. The Hunger Games have come to Boston and during the Reaping, all of the Bruins players were named as players and shuffled into Districts by yours truly. Who will survive? How will everyone die? How long will […]


Dear Bruins: You Stink and I Don’t Like You.

Bonus points for whoever gets this reference.  I am pretty sure all of this is not factual at all, but I am really fucking frustrated with the Bruins so you’re getting a rant. Enjoy it. Don’t enjoy. I don’t care. Last night was probably my tipping point on the Boston Bruins. I don’t think I […]


It’s Clobberin’ Time! Bruins Lose.

So Bergeron scored 33 seconds into the game and I was like…   Things looked like they might be on the upswing, but then some Lightning player whose name I will not even attempt to spell tied it up. Just one goal, no big deal, right?   J.T. Brown would give the Bolts the lead […]


Suck a Fart, Cats. *sigh* Bruins LOSE.

Once upon a time, nice things happened to the Bruins. They played good hockey and had good players and did good things. This is not that point in time. This is a point in time where the Bruins are struggling to get goals and make smart plays on the ice. The Bruins lost tonight to […]

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Break The Internet, Too Much GIF. Bruins Lose.

So, this is less than good. Bruins had a chance to all but put away the Senators tonight, but no, that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? Instead, Ottawatch 2015 continues as the Sens pull within two points of the Bs, with one game in hand, no less.   The theme of missed opportunities would […]


71. Boston Bruins at Ottawa Senators. Hamburglar?!

I’m sure I’ve used the phrase already but this is the biggest Bruins game to date. The Senators are currently four points back after the Bruins shit their pants against the worst team in the NHL. This is going to be a very telling game for this Bruins team. I talked about it on Twitter […]


Murray the Tank Engine. BRUINS WI…LOSE. LOSE?!

(Editor’s note: This game broke Jon’s brain. The Bruins are so confusing that they’ll go on a big win streak then lose to Lindback and the Sabres. LINDBACK. The only Back worse than Nickelback. So instead of doing a regular recap he decided to do story time instead and drink a tall glass of Buffalo […]


70. Buffalo Sabres at Boston Bruins. No Need For The Irish Luck Tonight.

Ah the Buffalo Sabres. The shit stains of the NHL. The Bruins and Sabres used to have a nice rivalry. It wasn’t anything to write home to Ma about. It wasn’t Bruins/Canadiens or Penguins/Flyers but it was fun. In the 2010 playoffs the #6 seed Boston Bruins rolled the #3 seeded Buffalo Sabres. The two […]


#ShitBidet Scores a Goal. Wrong Team Though. Bruins Lose.

Editor’s note: Tonight’s recap was written by the always funny Bree Mellen. Check her out on Twitter. Honk honk! All aboard the strugglebus, friends because this game was pretty gross. I’ll be your driver for the evening as the kind folks here at DOY have allowed me to recap the steaming pile of ass that […]

Bruins, Celtics and Hockey East Championship Headline This Week at TD Garden

TD Garden has a jam-packed sports week coming up, including events from the two teams the building hosts, the Boston Celtics and the Boston Bruins. As the Bruins narrowly hold onto an Eastern Conference playoff spot, the Celtics still have some work to do and are going to need a huge final surge. With secondary […]

Rask Rap Battle

Inside Job. Bruins Win!

Yo. The Broons are beating good teams and looking good doing it. You could point to the Max Talbot deal, and say stupid things like grit, hustle, and heart. Or, you could look at it objectively and see that over the past 10 games, in which the Bruins have gone 8-1-1, David Pastrnak and Ryan Spooner […]