PREVIEW: 6. New Jersey Devils at Boston Bruins


I want to apologize before I start this because Joomla crashed 95% into it. For those that don't know, Joomla is possibly the worst blogging software I've ever come across. Why anyone would use this is beyond me, but it is the software Bloguin uses and hence so are we. This isn't the first time this piece of shit software has crashed while doing a post for you guys, so that's why it is late. Fuck you Joomla. 

fuck you Joomla


The Bruins mettle will be tested tonight as they enter the second game of their first back-to-back on this young season. It will also mark the second of four games in six days for the black and gold. The good news is that Boston escaped Carolina with a 5-3 win despite Jeff Skinner doing his best to slew-foot the shit out of everyone

Now the Bruins have a tough test ahead of them with the New Jersey Devils, who enter today 3-0-1 and first in the Atlantic Division. The good news for Boston is that Marty Broduer (who has been sensational this season) is going to be riding the pine and Johan Hedberg will be getting the start. This will be Hedberg's first start of the season. 

I must say, I'm surprised how well the Devils are playing, especially without their top scorer from last year in Zach Parise. Much like the real Jersey Shore though, Parise died of AIDS from banging a ton of whores moved on to greener pastures and we don't mean the Wild jersey color.


Yes, Jersey's offense isn't spectacular (2.75 G/G and 17th in the NHL) but if you told me they would be that high with Parise gone and Henrique down in Albany, I'd call you a fool. What's keeping Jersey afloat is their defense, which is 2nd best in the NHL at 1.75 goals allowed per game. If the Bruins are going to get past the Devils' defense and goaltending (though we don't know what Hedberg can bring at 39) they're going to need every line clicking, which brings me to the Bruins 3rd line. 

(stick tap to Jessica for the 'shop)

Yesterday the DOY Staff had a roundtable which asked which was worse the Bruins 3rd line or its power play. I said the third line and got promptly accused for being a fucking asshole on Twitter (valid) because I'm "attacking" the 3rd line. 

In the game last night, Rich Peverley led the Bruins with 5 shots on goal, including a breakaway chance that was shot directly into Cam Ward's chest. Next time, Peverley should just pick the puck up and hand it to Cammy. He'd have a better chance of Ward dropping the puck than scoring there. Chris Kelly was worse, unfortunately. 

Late in the second period, Kelly had a crucial turnover (and we mean, passing the puck directly to Alex Semin's skates) that led to the eventual game tying goal before Boston nutted up in the 3rd period. From the start of the season, Kelly hasn't looked like the Kelly we saw last season. Could it be the "Curse of the New Contract"? Who knows. Here's the thing, I know Peverley and Kelly can bounce back.

Lastly we get to Chris Bourque who is a fucking train wreck and needs to get his ass shipped down to Providence. Can you believe Billy Jaffe on NESN last night swallowing Bourque's hanging brain about the game winning goal? Is he fucking serious? Chris Bourque sucks. 

Do you hear me Boston? 

Chris Bourque fucking sucks. The kid is an AHL stud but being an AHL stud doesn't necessarily translate to an NHL stud. Look at Brandon Bochenski. Yeah, Brandon fucking Bochenski who was a stud in the AHL but sucked so much in the NHL he's now in Russia playing for the Kazahkastan Borats. What makes Chris Bourque any different? His last name? If he was Chris Jones or Chris Smith or Chris Suckadick he'd be third line on in the ECHL playing for peanuts and bagging groceries on his off days. Instead he was a lucky sperm baby and Billy Jaffe is giving so many mouth hugs it has the Red Light District up in arms.

Take your sweatpants boner for Ray Bourque's kid and tuck it into the elastic waistband because it's time to end this abortionary experiment once and for all.

After the jump, the rest of the preview…


Radio: 98.5 The Sports Hub (radio player link)
Online Feeds: HERE

online feeds

Projected Lines

Milan Lucic – David Krejci – Nathan Horton
Tyler Seguin – Patrice Bergeron – Brad Marchand
Shawn Thornton – Greg Campbell – Dan Paille

Zdeno Chara – Johnny Boychuk
Dennis Seidenberg – DOUGLAS Hamilton
Adam McQuaid – Andrew Ference

Tuukka Rask
Anton Khudobin

The Enemy


Game Day Video/Image

lazy january recap